


Creation

by friedlieb_ferdinand_runge



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Family Dynamics, Gen, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, Hurt JJ, Hurt Spencer Reid, Injured Team, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Team Feels, Team as Family, hurt Derek Morgan, hurt david rossi, hurt emily prentiss, hurt penelope garcia, scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-13 04:32:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 30,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17481242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friedlieb_ferdinand_runge/pseuds/friedlieb_ferdinand_runge
Summary: ~ "My sources tell me there are still agents in the building, including David Rossi, his unit chief Aaron Hotchner and the other five members of the BAU. There are no reports of any survivors" ~[Rated teen just in case, there might be some violence and language]





	1. The Letter

**_ “We’ve all done this —created our mix-and-match families, our homemade safety nets.” -David Levithan _ **

_"This is Kaitlyn Osborne coming to you live from the FBI Headquarters in Quantico, Virginia. One hour ago we received reports of an armed man making his way into the building, just five minutes after a full evacuation started." The woman spoke loud over the sound of fire engines and police sirens, "Soon after, a large explosion rocked through one of the top floors of the building" She paused for effect, pushing her finger into her earpiece,_

_"My sources tell me there are still close to seventy agents in the building, including well renowned author and profiler David Rossi, his unit chief Aaron Hotchner and the other five members of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. There are no reports of any survivors"_

******** Seven Days Earlier ********

Morgan spun in his chair, twirling a small green troll looking figurine. Prentiss raised an eyebrow at him, "If Garcia finds out you stole that from her office, you'll have hell to pay"

Morgan shrugged, "Beats sitting around here with nothing to do"

"There isn't nothing to do" Reid spoke up from where he sat, "There's plenty of paperwork"

Prentiss groaned, "Plenty is right, remind me again why we're stuck with paperwork at six o'clock on a Sunday morning?"

"Strauss wants the monthly reports a week early, said something about 'hypervigilance in the workplace'" Reid supplied, not looking up.

"Right... and I'm sure it had nothing to do with the little mishap on last months reports?" Prentiss said, casting a teasing glance at Morgan.

Before the latter could retort JJ stepped in, sitting lightly on the edge of Prentiss' desk, "Little mishap? It took me three hours to write that report"

Morgan put up his hands, "Hey hey hey, what? Is it gang up on Derek day?" he looked at Reid, "c'mon kid, back me up"

The young agent looked at him briefly, pen still in hand, "It was an accident..." Morgan nodded and gestured at Reid to the girls, but he wasn't finished, "Although, none of us have ever spilled an entire pot of coffee on all seven monthly reports, an hour before they were due"

Morgan nodded, "Uh huh, I see how it is" he pulled a blank piece of paper off his notepad and crumpled it up, launching it at Reid. It bounced of his head and he looked up in surprise,

"What was that for?"

Prentiss laughed and JJ shook her head. Morgan just scoffed and turned back to twiddling with Garcia's figurine. The clicking of heels about two inches taller than dress regulations stated had Morgan scrambling to hide the thing, he settled on throwing it to JJ who caught it, realized what it was and promptly handed it to Prentiss, who shoved it in her desk drawer.

Garcia walked into the room with a file in her hands. Morgan smiled, "Hey girl, is that your report?"

"Yes and you keep your slippery fingers off of it Derek Morgan" Garcia said pulled it towards her and away from him, she looked around, "Do any of you have coffee?"

JJ laughed, "No Garcia you're fine, we ran out and no ones made a run yet"

Garcia nodded and scanned the area just in case, then set her file down next to Prentiss' computer, "Do you think it was purposeful?"

"Taking away my only sustainable life source?" Reid mumbled, earning a few laughs.

Prentiss shrugged, "If it was, can we blame that on Morgan too?"

"This is workplace harassment" Morgan glared at them each in turn, though his eyes showed he didn't mean it.

For a few minutes the group sat, either writing or typing or just sitting in a comfortable silence when Garcia spoke up,

"Hey have any of you seen a little green gnome? It seems to have disappeared from my office"

All four profilers stopped working, none of them spoke either. Garcia narrowed her eyes, "Derek?"

"Baby Girl, you know I don't mess with your stuff sweetness"

Garcia gasped, "It was you!"

Morgan leaned back in his chair, "What makes you say that?"

"You called me Baby Girl and sweetness, overcompensating is a sign of guilt remember? You taught me that"

Prentiss licked her lips and took a deep breath to hide her laugh. Garcia looked at her, "Except Derek wouldn't have left it in his desk, he would've passed it off so he isn't caught with the evidence"

JJ raised her eyebrows when Garcia looked at her next, "Don't ask me, I don't know anything"

The tech analyst looked at Reid next, he sunk into his chair as she creeped closer, "Reid..."

"I don't know where it is!" He picked up his pen again and turned back to his report, "Honest"

"Tell me where it is Spencer" Garcia was almost on top of him now, he gulped, "Emily's desk"

Garcia spun as the other three groaned, she pulled the troll out of Prentiss' drawer and gave them the evil eye, then smiled at Reid, "Guess who's case report won't have an unexpected virus and arrive a day late"

Morgan sat up, "What? Penelope, you can't do that to us"

Garcia shook her head and held the troll close to her chest, "You won't change my mind"

"Oh please Penelope, I'll even buy you a new figurine, something sparkly" Prentiss begged.

"Sparkly?" Garcia slowly looked at them.

"And pink" JJ added, her bottom lip pushed forward just a little.

Garcia sighed and put an arm around the back of Reid's chair, "What do you think G-man?"

Reid rubbed his eye and picked up his pen again, "I think I'm having caffeine withdrawals"

This earned another laugh, much to the oblivious young mans surprise. Garcia laughed too and walked up to Morgan, resting a hand on his shoulder and winking to let him know all was forgiven.

They settled back into a comfortable silence, when they were yet again interrupted. This time by a delivery man, his name was Tucker, they'd learned it soon enough considering he was the only person who had been cleared by the Bureau to carry it's agents mail to their office's. Tucker smiled, "Doctor Reid, this is for you"

Reid cleared his throat and took the envelope with a small thank you. Tucker greeted the other agents on the way out, and after they in turn said their simultaneous hellos and goodbyes they crowded around Reid, none of them having much concern for privacy.

"Who's it from?" JJ asked from her new position on the edge of Reid's desk.

"It doesn't say" Reid said, flipping it over to make sure.

Morgan leaned into his ear and made an ooh sound, "Is Pretty Boy getting fan letters?"

Reid made a face as he opened the envelope, "I hope not" he pulled out a folded letter and another small envelope. He opened the smaller envelope first, four wedding rings spilled out into his hand. He raised an eyebrow at his friends before unfolding the letter and scanning it, his eyes getting wider as he did.

Prentiss wrinkled her eyebrows, "What is it? Read it out loud"

Reid looked at her and then slowly nodded, clearing his throat again, "Dear Spencer Reid, I am sorry we could not have this encounter in person, though the time will come. I have contacted you to give you viable information on what you call an 'Unsub'.

"You should know before we start, the hand used to kill the eight victims is akin to the one writing this letter." Reid looked at his teammates, all had varied expressions of confusion, worry and even a little fear. At JJ's prompt, he continued,

"The information is this, I know who you are, I know where you live, I know who you love and who you hate. I know it all... this is not a warning so much as a caution as you and your team examine this case."

Reid gulped, his voice shook as he read the last sentence, "P.S: please give your mother my condolences"


	2. The Rings

Hotch was surprised as his five agents knocked on his office door, he could tell something was wrong even before he saw how bad Reid was shaking. When he did, he made a quick excuse on the phone and hung up, beckoning the young agents in, “What’s wrong?”

All five of them stood there, looking at each other with worried expressions, silently begging for someone else to explain. Finally, Morgan stepped in, he took the letter from Reid and handed it to Hotch.

“Tucker just delivered that to Reid five minutes ago” He said and then stepped back as Hotch read it. He examined the rings, thinking. When he looked up his expression was still calm, the only tell being his lowered eyebrows. Hotch looked at Reid,

“Have you gotten anything like this before?” He asked, knowing how Reid tended to handle things, he needed to be sure the only reason he was coming to him now wasn’t because he happened to be surrounded by the others when he’d opened it.

Reid shook his head, “No, never”

Hotch nodded, “Where’s Dave?”

Rossi leaned into view from just outside, “Here, I’ve already been filled in”

“Okay, Garcia, start searching for recent murders in the DC area, Prentiss and Morgan, see if you can get forensics to pull DNA off the rings, Rossi, JJ and I will go over the letter” He looked at Reid, “Reid, call your mother, make sure she’s alright and try and find out if anyone she knows has passed away recently, after that, I want you looking at the handwriting, see if you can find anything.”

Reid nodded and filed out of the room with the others. Hotch stood, “and Reid?”

The young man turned, Hotch tilted his chin down a little, “I don’t want you going anywhere alone until we find this guy”

Reid adjusted his bag, “Yes sir”

The youngest agent stepped slowly down the stairs, head bent over his phone. It rang three times before a voice sounded on the other end,

“Who is this?” his mother's voice was low, accusing. Reid brushed it off, he was used to her distrust towards phones.

“It’s me mom, Spencer” he waited for it to sink in, “Can I ask you some questions?”

His mother sighed, “It’s really not the time Spencer”

“Why’s that?”

“Jane and I have a funeral to attend to” Jane was Diana’s handler, had been for years. Reid tucked his hair behind his ear. He glanced back at the conference room where most of the team was gathered,

“I’m so sorry mom, who’s is it?” Reid held his breath and fidgeted with his bag.

Diana sighed again, “Do you remember our neighbor? Harry?”

“Uh.. yeah, he was the one who would bring me a new book every birthday” It was never kid books either, Moby Dick, Jane Eyre, Shakespeare, he’d loved every one.

“Yes. Him and his wife, Sally, died last week”

Reid’s breath hitched, he blinked a few times, “How- how did they die?”

Diana made a tsk noise with her tongue, “I’m not sure, really Spencer, I need to go”

Before Reid could say goodbye, she hung up. Reid stood with his phone to his ear for a few more seconds, memories of the kind man who lived next door flooding his mind. Finally, he put his phone back in his pocket and walked into the conference room, quietly setting his bag down in a chair.

“Reid, what did your mother say?” Hotch said, turning from the letter displayed on the table, an evidence bag had been brought in and it lay zipped inside.

Reid didn’t answer at first, it took JJ’s soft hand on his arm to get him to look up,

“Oh, his name- or their names- I actually only know two names, or my mom did”

Rossi moved to stand next to JJ, “That’s fine, we’ll track down the others”

Reid nodded, “Harry and Sally Glen”

“Did you know them?” JJ asked quietly. Reid nodded,

“Harry was the one who introduced me to Arthur Conan Doyle…”

Hotch lowered his eyebrows, “I’m sorry”

Reid just nodded again, “Should I tell Garcia?”

JJ shook her head, “I’ll take care of it Spence” she gave Rossi and Hotch a pointed look before leaving, quickly moving across the bullpens floor and out the large glass doors.

Rossi looked at Hotch and gestured his head toward Reid, Hotch’s eyebrows lowered further and he made the same motion with his own head. Rossi sighed, “Can you tell us anything from the letter?”

Reid nodded and pulled it closer to him, “He uh… he tries to act smarter than he is, like an English scholar of some sort, but there are inconsistencies and breaks in grammar that makes me think he’s educated, just not highly”

“So, average dude?” Rossi asked, egging the young man on.

“Yeah, and his handwriting shakes like he has a constant tremor, it’s not showable enough to be older than early fifties, that or he’s younger and smokes” Reid said, scanning the letter.

Hotch nodded, “What are the chances it’s the latter?”

Reid looked up at him, paused and then looked back at the letter in his hands. He brought it closer to his face and sniffed it, “Unlikely, people who smoke regularly enough to tremor usually smell like smoke, and everything around them smells like smoke”

“Like cat owners” Rossi added solemnly.

Reid stared at him and decided to ignore his comment, “The paper doesn’t smell like smoke” he handed it back to Hotch who took it and turned to a board behind him. He ripped a small piece of tape off the despenser and taped the letter up. He stepped back,

“Can you think of anyone who would want to target you Reid?”

Reid shrugged, “We’ve put a lot of bad people away Hotch”

“Right,” Rossi stepped in, “But for whatever reason, this one is just targeting you, is there a certain case where you’ve played a pivotal role?”

Imdeiatly Tobias Hankel came to mind, by the look on Hotch’s face, he was thinking the same thing. Rossi looked between the two, “What?”

Hotch shook his head, “Nothing, it was a long time ago”

Reid looked down, a long time ago didn’t seem like much when you still had nightmares almost every night.

“These guys hold grudges Hotch, you know that” Rossi said delicately.

Hotch folded his arms, not as a stubborn front against Rossi, more against his aching knees, begging him to sit down, “Not this time”

Rossi shrugged, “Why’s that?”

“He’s dead” Reid said, barely loud enough to be heard. Rossi decided to drop it.

Garcia suddenly rushed in the room, followed by a preoccupied JJ, she had her nose practically glued to a folder, she almost ran into the door frame but stepped out of the way at the last second. She walked up to the board and taped up four more pictures. One of them was a smiling picture of Harry, another of his wife. Reid looked away. Garcia shot him a sympathetic look, then turned to Hotch,

“Okay so, Harry and Sally. -Adorable names by the way- they were found on their couch, they’d been shot execution style, their TV was still on when they were found which probably means they didn’t even know the Unsub was in the house” she looked at Reid with a look that obviously meant they didn’t suffer, emotionally or physically. Reid tried to smile halfheartedly.

“Did two of the wedding rings belong to them?” Hotch asked, flipping through the file JJ handed him.

“One of them, only Harry’s ring was missing” Garcia replied.

“Four wedding rings, eight victims” JJ confirmed.

Rossi sat down on the edge of the conference table, “So all our victims are married, we’re looking for four couples”

“I don’t think so” Reid sat up, “Did Morgan or Emily take pictures of the rings before they brought them to forensics?”

JJ paused for a moment and then wrinkled her eyebrows, “Yeah they did” she reached over Hotch’s arm and pulled four pictures out of the file, then handed them to Reid. He scanned them, then put them down on the table, he pointed at the first one,

“This one’s Harry’s,” he pointed at the second, “This one is a woman's wedding ring” he pointed at the third and fourth, “These aren’t wedding rings at all, the first one is a graduation ring, probably college, not highschool. The second is a family crest”

Rossi leaned over his shoulder, “He’s right. Why only four rings if we’re looking at eight victims?”

JJ shrugged, “He lied?”

“Or we haven’t found them yet” Reid said, “He gave us information like it was a clue, he might see this as a sick treasure hunt”

Garcia wrinkled her nose, “People astound me” she shook her head.

Morgan and Prentiss walked back into the room, both had shadowed faces. Hotch caught the behaviour first,

“What’s wrong?”

Prentiss set down the file she was carrying, “The jeweled ring belonged to a Megan Harriott” she shook her head, “She used to attend my mother's dinners, one of the only knick knack in my house is a porceleyne doll she bought me for my tenth birthday”

JJ reached out and rubbed her arm, “I’m so sorry Em” Emily nodded at her. Morgan spoke next,

“One of the rings is a graduation ring” at the others nods, he continued, “It was a gift from a friend of mine to his younger brother, we used to watch the kid together when his parents were out”

Prentiss sat down with a thump, “They both went missing two days ago”

“If the Unsub sent the letter through the normal mail system, he took them and mailed the letter on the same day” Reid said gloomily.

Hotch put his hands on the table and leaned forward, “We already know about Harry Glen, what about the fourth? The crested ring?”

Prentiss shuffled through her file, “Uh… Hamish Crawford”

Rossi snapped his head towards her, “Are you sure?”

At Morgan and Prentiss’ collective nod, Rossi stood and ran a hand over his beard, eyes closed.

“Dave?” Hotch prompted.

“Hamish Crawford used to go golfing with me every Sunday, we stopped when he was diagnosed with arthritis in his knee, that was about six years ago” Rossi said, and sat back down.

JJ shook her head, “This can’t just be about Reid”

“The letter was only addressed to me, that doesn't mean everything he said couldn't very well have been directed at all of us” Reid said in agreement.

Hotch sighed, “I want all of you watching your backs, this Unsub knows enough about us to target people we fell out of contact with years ago”

Before she could say more, JJ’s phone rang, she checked the caller I.D and smiled apologetically at Hotch, before stepping away.

“If the Unsub is targeting all of us, it makes the suspect pool a lot bigger” Rossi said as JJ left.

“Is that good or bad?” Garcia half asked, half mumbled.

JJ stepped back into the room, “Hey Hotch, Will took Henry to my moms for a visit and forgot his inhaler, Will doesn’t have the car and it’s hay season-”

“Go” Hotch nodded to her, “We can handle it for a few hours”

JJ nodded and rushed out the door, she walked across the bullpen quickly, her pace quickened when she saw the elevator doors closing, “Hold the-” they shut before she finished.

JJ sighed and thought about taking the next one, deciding against it, she opened the stairwell doors and rushed down. It took five minutes to get to her car, another five to get out of the high security parking lot, and ten to get home. Finally, she was at her house. She had just made it through the gate when her phone buzzed, she pulled it out and checked the text,

'I found it in the bottom of the bag, sorry for pulling you away from work.'

JJ stared at the text from Will and sighed, half relief, half annoyance.

'Don’t worry about it,' she typed quickly, 'Tell Henry I love him'

She waited until he texted back, and laughed.

'What about me?'

She shook her head, 'Have Henry give you the same message'

JJ clicked the power button and put her phone back in her pocket, she started to turn when she noticed the door to their townhouse stood slightly ajar. She was sure she’d locked it.

The young agent pulled out her gun and edged the door open with her foot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a few things, the whole smoking thing was based off Wiki so no one hurt me if I ot it wrong, I also have no idea if Henry actually has asthma but neither do I and I still used an inhalor when I was super littl =e because the polution in my city is bad, ust roll with it. I hope you all liked the new chapter, don't mind the change in title, I decided I need more time then fourty eight hours lol. Thanks for reading love-bugs!


	3. The Spoons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day?? When does that happen? Anyways, enjoy, even though I don't like the pacing. Thanks for reading love-bugs!

JJ nudged the door open, gun held out in front of her. She walked in quickly, pointing her gun into the hallway, then the living room, "Who's here?" she stepped inside the rest of the way, pushing the door closed with her hip.

"FBI, come out" JJ tried again, she was suddenly very glad her mom had insisted on seeing Henry today.

She walked into the kitchen/dining room next, when she saw nothing she moved to the next hallway,

"I have a gun, I don't want to shoot! Come out peacefully and we can talk" Still, no answer, JJ contemplated calling Hotch but shook her head, she didn't want to give whoever broke in a blind spot, besides, she didn't even know if there was anyone here.

She moved to the side of the first bedroom, Henry's. JJ opened the door swiftly and whipped around the door frame, she followed her eyes movements with her gun as she scanned the room.

The office was next, she cleared it soon enough, making sure to check under the desk. Stepping into her room she shivered, the fan was on and the window open,

"Well that wasn't me, or Will" she resisted the urge to turn off the fan, knowing it was part of crime scene. She shook her head and bent down, pulling the plug instead of flipping the switch. She walked to the window and shoved it closed, then locked it, "My home isn't a crime scene" she half yelled, as if the person who broke in was still in the house.

After double checking all the nooks and crannies, JJ sighed and put her gun away, she walked through the house again, checking drawers and shelves for anything they might've stolen. Almost as an afterthought, she went through the kitchen drawers.

"What the hell?" She said, pulling open the silverware drawer, she pulled a glove out of her pocket and wrapped it around her finger. JJ reached into the drawer and pulled out three rings, she raised an eyebrow as she pulled out her phone and called Hotch, he picked up after the first ring,

"Hotchner"

"Hey Hotch it's JJ" she said slowly, still staring at the drawer.

"Did you get Henry his inhaler?" Hoth asked, obviously preoccupied.

JJ shook her head, then realized he wouldn't be able to see her movement, "No uh, Will found it, I actually called you about something else"

Hotch paused, "Okay? What's up"

"Someone broke into my house"

"What? Are you okay?"

JJ cleared her throat, "I'm fine, but I think it was the Unsub"

JJ could hear a few voices on the other side of the phone before Hotch replied, "What makes you think that?"

"He left three rings" JJ said, staring down at them.

"We'll be right over," Hotch said, "Give us twenty minutes"

"Okay..." JJ shook her head again, "Hotch?"

"Yes?"

"He stole all my spoons"

********

"Why spoons?" Morgan asked, leaning against the kitchen counter next to JJ. Prentiss shrugged, "He's taunting us?"

JJ huffed, "I liked my spoons, they were a wedding gift"

Prentiss couldn't help but laugh, "I'm sorry, but who gives spoons as a wedding gift?"

"Me!" Rossi said indignantly as he walked into the room, "Along with the rest of the kitchen set"

Prentiss and Morgan looked at JJ for confirmation, she nodded, a small smile playing on her lips.

Hotch followed behind Rossi, "I had Anderson pick up Will, Henry and your mother, he's putting them in protective custody"

JJ let out a breath, "Thanks"

"Maybe you should do the same Hotch," Prentiss suggested, "Just to be safe"

Hotch pulled out his phone, "I'll call Haley, let her know someone's on the way" he left the room just as Reid walked in,

"JJ, was the fan on in your room?" he asked, looking at something in his hand.

JJ looked at the rest of them, then nodded, "Yeah, the window was open too"

"Why?" Morgan said, stepping closer to Reid, "Did you find something?"

"I'm not sure..." Reid held up a small piece of what looked to be plaster, "It's a natural scent diffuser, used with oils and other natural scents."

JJ looked at it, "It's not mine"

"It looks like it was put in your room, then the Unsub tried to make the scent go away with the air from the fan and window" Reid said

Morgan shook his head, "Stealing spoons and hiding scents he brought? What the hell is this guy doing?"

JJ braced her hands on the counter and pushed herself up onto it, "You know what this reminds me of?"

Reid sighed and put the diffuser in an evidence bag, "The Fisher King?"

Morgan groaned and Prentiss and Rossi looked at them with confused faces. JJ shrugged, "It was a lot like this, the Unsub sending us clues to find him, taunting us whenever he could"

"Except he thought it was a mythical quest" Morgan said, "This guy is- I don't know what he is"

"Crazy" Prentiss supplied.

"Did this 'Fisher King' ever break into one of your houses?" Rossi asked.

Morgan, JJ and Reid all looked anywhere but each others faces. Finally Reid mumbled a reply,

"Elle's"

Prentiss thought about the Agent Greenaway who'd resigned just before Prentiss got her job. She'd heard whispers from other agents about how she'd snapped after an Unsub shot her in her own home. Prentiss shuddered.

Hotch walked back into the room, holding his phone out, Garcia's name displayed on it, "Garcia has something" Hotch said, "Go ahead Garcia"

On the other end, Garcia cleared her throat, when she spoke, her usual peppy demeanor wasn't there, "So um, forensics pushed the rings to the top of their list because the case includes agents and I just got the results"

Rossi nodded, "What do you have for us?"

Garcia sniffed, "So the first ring belongs to Tenley Oscar, she was- she was my highschool computers teacher, she actually got me into hacking" Garcia laughed a little but sobbed at the same time.

"Baby Girl..." Morgan started, before she could finish, Garcia went on,

"The second belongs to a Maya Feys"

A sharp intake of breath came from Hotch and they all turned to him, He closed his eyes, "The doctor that delivered Jack"

They all stood silently, not sure how to comfort him. Hotch didn't give them time to try, "The fourth?"

JJ held her breath and jumped off the counter, as Morgan was closest to her, she grabbed his arm. He put a comforting hand over hers.

"The fourth is Ryan Dower" Garcia said quietly. The team looked up at JJ, waiting for a reaction. Slowly, her eyes widened in recognition. She put her head down,

"He's my- he was my therapist, after my sister died" She said. Morgan squeezed her hand lightly, she looked at him with a thankful expression before letting go,

"Does this guy even have a motive? I mean, he's smart and organized but nothing he's done has made sense"

Hotch set his phone on the counter, "This was probably a warning, proof of what he wrote in the letter"

"I know who you are, I know where you live, I know who you love and who you hate. I know it all" Reid recited.

"I still don't understand why he'd take my spoons" JJ mumbled, "They're just spoons"

Morgan elbowed her playfully, "Maybe you should be telling yourself that"

JJ glowered at him but managed a half hearted smiled all the same.

"I don't think anyone should be going home" Hotch said, looking at each member in turn.

Prentiss sucked in a breath, "We pulled an all nighter last night Hotch, before that we were gone on a case for a week"

Reid nodded and JJ smiled, "So far, we only know he knows where I live, everyone else deserves a night at home"

Hotch started to shake his head when Morgan interrupted, "We could have cops outside, lock our doors, we don't even know if this guy wants to hurt us so much as mess with us"

Hotch looked at Rossi who shrugged. He sighed, "Fine. I want you in the office early. Make sure your houses are locked down, and I'm having patrol cars posted all night"

They all collectively nodded, Prentiss looked at JJ, "Why don't you stay over at my place, I have an extra bed"

JJ smiled, "That would be awesome Emily, thank you"

Hotch rubbed his forehead, "Where are you on that paper trail Garcia?"

Garcia sucked in a breath of surprise, obviously she'd forgotten they were still on the phone, "He's payed for everything in cash sir"

Hotch nodded, "Okay, everybody go home, shower, get some rest and come back with fresh eyes early tomorrow morning"

His team nodded gratefully and split ways.


	4. The Scotch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to IllegalCerebral for being awesomely supportive of my story, it is greatly appreciated. Warning: This chapter gets kind of morbid at the end, it's not super graphic, just be cautious.

Rossi stepped into his mansion and shut the door behind him. He leaned against the back of it and dropped his bag. He’d stayed a few hours later than the rest of the agents, a promise to Hotch to help him cut through red tape for the case that he severely regretted.  
After a few minutes he stood and threw his keys into a bowl next to the couch, he picked up an ornate glass decanter and poured a glass of scotch for himself. Rossi sat down heavily on the couch and took a sip, almost as soon as he did he spit it back out, 

“What in the name of-” he picked up the decanter and sniffed it, “Is that apple juice?” he stared at the two glass objects in his hands and arched his lip in disgust, thinking through the guests he’d had in his house in the past few days.

Deciding that he’d worry about it tomorrow, he walked into the large walk in pantry he used as a alcohol cabinet. Rossi reached for another bottle of scotch when he realized the seal was broken. He looked at the rest of his extensive -and expensive- collection. Every single seal was cracked. It didn’t take Rossi long to realize that every one had been dumped and refilled with apple juice. 

He just about smashed the decanter he was holding on the ground. Instead, he held it up and looked at with a glare, like it was somehow the things fault that this had happened. When he did, his eyes widened. Rossi rushed to the sink and dumped the liquid out of it, picking up ice tongs from the drawer next to his hip, he used them to pull a wet and crumpled piece of paper out of the heavy bottle.

The agent opened it slowly so as not to rip it, and groaned at the message scrawled in bleeding blue ink:

What would happen if a girl swallowed her spoon?

Begrudgingly, Rossi flipped open his phone. It rang four times, to the point where Rossi was debating what to say in the voicemail, when a groggy voice answered,

“Hotchner”

“Hey Hotch” Rossi shook off his hand and rinsed it in the sink, he wrinkled his nose at the apple smell, “You should probably get over here, and uh, bring Reid”

Hotch was silent on the other end, Rossi had known him long enough to know it was his way of groaning. Finally Hotch replied, “Is everything okay?”

Rossi shook his head, “I think you’d lock me up in a mental hospital if I told you over the phone, you’ll have to see it for yourself”

“Bring Reid?” Hotch clarified, a small thump came from the other end, followed by Hotch’s hiss. Rossi guessed he’d run into his nightstand.

Rossi sighed, “Yeah, you know what? Just bring everyone”

“Give me half an hour. Garcia lives close doesn’t she? I’ll let you call her” Hotch said. 

Garcia didn’t actually live all that close to Rossi, if the man was being honest, no one did. And he liked it that way, 

“Wake up sleeping beauty, I get the message Aaron” the message being, ‘you get to be the one to tell Garcia she doesn’t get to sleep after pulling four all nighters’

Rossi could’ve sworn he heard Hotch chuckle, “Good man” the phone beeped loudly in his ear, signaling the unit chief had hung up. Rossi walked through the house and flipped the lights on as he dialed Garcia’s number. He had to call twice before she finally picked up.

“What”

“Garcia, it’s Rossi” he said, feeling just as tired as she sounded.

A muffled noise came from the receiver, “Sir, you know I love you but it is eleven pm and I haven’t slept more than eight hours in the past four days so if you could kindly-”

“The Unsub broke into my house” Rossi cut in, knowing it would stop her in her tracks. 

As he thought, her tone changed almost immediately, “Oh! Oh my god, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. He dumped all my scotch” Rossi said, he couldn’t help the anger in his voice.

Garcia gasped audibly, “What kind of man takes another mans precious alcohol?” 

Rossi couldn’t tell if she was joking or not but he smiled all the same, the quirky tech analyst had that effect on people, “Just my thought kitten, could get here fast? The rest are on their way”

Garcia didn’t say anything, but by the noises on the other end, he figured she’d already gotten to her car.

Someone knocked on the door and Rossi leaned around the corner, Emily stood leaning against the doorframe, a disheveled JJ next to her. He walked to the door as Garcia said her goodbyes and hung up. Rossi opened the door and tried a smile, though it probably looked more like a grimace.

Prentiss walked in without a hello and sunk onto his couch. JJ shrugged and pulled off her coat, 

“I feel like a highschooler again”

From her spot on the couch, Prentiss snorted, “You had Unsubs breaking into your house in highschool?”

JJ smiled as Rossi took her coat, “No, but the tired and stressed feeling is the same”

No one laughed, JJ hadn’t meant it as a joke. Prentiss put her hand up tiredly and Rossi took it, she waved it around a little, like kids do when they’re forced to hold their parents hands in public, 

“Do you have alcohol” it wasn’t a question, more of a plea.

Rossi moved back into the kitchen, coming back with three glasses of whiskey, “As long as you don’t ask for scotch” 

JJ laughed, “David Rossi and his coveted scotch”

“It’s coveted apple juice now” He said bitterly. Prentiss arched her head back and looked at him like he’d grown a second head,

“What?”

Rossi huffed and sat down next to her, handing her a glass, “The Unsub apparently has a vendetta against scotch as well as spoons”

JJ sat on the other side of Rossi, taking the last glass, she gulped down half in one go, “Maybe he just likes taking the stuff you buy”

Prentiss outdid JJ by downing the entire glass, “Rossi has good taste” she licked her lips and made a face, “Strong taste”

Another knock sounded on the door, harder this time. Rossi guessed it was Morgan, he stood and winked over his shoulder, “Only the best my dear”

He had been right, when he opened the door Morgan gave him a tight lipped smile. He was wearing sweats and his jacket was on inside out. Rossi was surprised he hadn’t fallen asleep at the wheel on the way.

“Three hours, that’s all I ask” Morgan said, Rossi nodded knowingly as he opened the door wider for the young man, he handed him his untouched glass, Morgan raised it towards him gratefully.

“Yeah, JJ and I got one” Prentiss said, “You?”

Morgan sat on the couch beside the one the two women sat on, “By the time I got home, showered and ate? Maybe ten minutes before Hotch called”

JJ sat up promptly and stretched her arm across to Morgan, dumping the rest of her whiskey into his glass. He mock saluted her and took a sip, hissing at the burning sensation.

Emily gave him a thumbs up, Morgan waved her away.

The doorbell rang and the front door opened, Garcia stepped in, “Sorry, I should’ve waited, it’s just, I forgot to grab shoes so I drove all the way in slippers and I really need to sit down”

Rossi stood, “I’ll go get another glass”

Garcia pointed back at the door, “I saw Reid’s car on the way here”

Rossi pointed two fingers in the air, “Two glasses”

Just as Garcia sat down, a soft knock on the door caught the tired agents attention. They sat quietly, none of them wanting to get up. The door slowly opened and Reid poked his head in, “Did you guys not hear me knock?”

Prentiss rested her head on the arm of the couch, “We heard”

Reid nodded, “Oh”

“You don’t look tired at all” Garcia said, looking Reid over, she was right, he was in new clothes -not pajamas- and the dark circles under his eyes were no more prominent than usual.

The young genius shrugged, “I’m used to running on low sleep”

Morgan glared at him, “Good for you” as if to prove his point, he downed the rest of his whiskey, the look on his face showing that he obviously regretted it.

Rossi walked back in and handed Garcia a glass of red liquid, presumably wine, and gave a glass with the same to Reid. The latter raised his eyebrow, “Aren’t we working?”

“It’s off the clock kid,” Morgan put his head down on Garcia’s shoulder and moved his hand in a soft wiping motion, “Let it be”

Reid nodded and thanked Rossi, but put the wine down gingerly. Making sure to put a coaster under it, and sat down on the other side of Garcia, his messenger bag held on his lap awkwardly.

“I guess we’re just waiting on Hotch” JJ said, voicing her thoughts as a tactic to keep her eyes open.

They didn’t wait long, only a few minutes later, bright lights shone through the front windows. Rossi was at the door before Hotch had time to knock.

Hotch walked into the room and surveyed the scene, his shirt was wrinkled and his tie looked like he’d tied it in the dark.

“Geeze Hotch, you look worse then Emily” Morgan said, earning a glare from his teammate.

Hotch didn’t say anything, just picked up the glass Rossi offered him a tipped his head back, emptying the liquid without a change in expression. The rest of them tried not to gauk. Hotch nodded to Rossi, “What do you have?”

Rossi resisted asking if his boss was human, instead, he explained what had happened. By the end of it, Morgan looked like he wanted to jump off a building,

“Okay. What the hell man?” He said. Garcia nodded. 

“Can we see the letter?” Hotch asked, he fixed his tie as he spoke, reverting back to being all business. Rossi nodded,

“It was soaked so I didn’t want to move it, it’s on the kitchen counter”

The group stood collectively, when Prentiss stood she put a hand on her banging head, and sat back down.

Hotch gave her a worried look, Prentiss waved him away, “Just a headache”

Rossi put a hand on her elbow as she stood again, “I have tylenol in the kitchen cupboard”

Prentiss let him guide her to a kitchen stool. She accepted the pain meds with a nod and took them dry, then sat and watched as the others looked over the letter.

“What would happen if a girl swallowed her spoon?” JJ read, “A riddle?”

Reid shook his head, “I don’t know”

“You don’t know?’ Garcia said, joining Prentiss at the counter.

“I don’t know everything” Reid reminded them quietly, he leaned over the paper, “Wait a minute…”

Hotch folded his arms, “What is it?”

“Does anyone have a magnifying glass?” Reid asked, when no one answered he waved his hand and opened his bag, “Nevermind, I have one”

Morgan scoffed, “You carry a magnifying glass in your bag?” JJ elbowed him and he looked at her with a fake hurt expression. Reid ignored them both,

“This paper isn’t blank, it looks like a piece of a flyer” he said, passing the magnifier to Hotch. Hotch looked over the paper,

“It looks like there’s a company name and a date, Garcia, did you bring your computer?” 

Garcia heaved her blue bag onto the counter, “Never go anywhere without it sir”

“Can you look for any events in the DC area on September Eighth, hosted by The First Tee*?”

“Yes sir,” Garcia pulled out her laptop and started frantically typing, Prentiss watched her friends hands, then the screen, then Garcia’s face,

“You are a wonder Penelope” she said.

Garcia smiled, “Tell me that after I find what we’re looking for” she stopped typing, “Okay, so there was an event last year on that date with that host, it was held at a park not far from here”

“Okay, JJ, can you call the chief of the precinct in that jurisdiction and have him send some men?” Hotch asked.

JJ took out her phone and nodded, walking a few feet away.

Hotch turned to the rest of them, “We’re going in, I don’t think he’ll be there, but to be safe, nobody goes anywhere alone. Understand?”

Everyone collectively nodded. 

“Good, let’s go. Garcia, stay here, I’ll have an officer come stay at the front, make sure the doors are locked” Hotch said, already on his way out.

The rest of them followed, Morgan catching Garcia’s hand and squeezing it before heading out the door.

********

Morgan pressed his back up against a tree, Prentiss did the same a few feet away. Morgan pointed in the direction of the small stone maintenance shed. Prentiss nodded and sprinted to one side of, Morgan moved to the other. They met at the back end, both holding up their guns before sighing and pointing them at the ground. 

Morgan put his shirt caller close to his mouth, “The west side is clear”

Hotch’s voice came through their earpieces, “So is the east, meet up with Reid and Rossi, JJ and I will go south”

Morgan nodded and started walking with Prentiss at his side.

“Hey Derek” Prentiss whispered, Morgan turned his head to look at her, she smiled, “Your jacket’s inside out”

Morgan looked down in alarm and groaned, “Damn it”

Prentiss bit her lip to hold back a laugh and picked up her pace. Morgan pulled at his jacket sleeve and followed.

They spotted Rossi and Reid soon enough and jogged up to them, Rossi shook his head at their curious looks. They hadn’t found anything.

“Wait guys, look” Reid pointed at a crop of bushes a few yards from them, they rustled slightly.

Rossi nodded to Morgan, the two of them circled around, Prentiss and Reid walked up slowly towards the front, guns out in front of them. Rossi reached it first he moved a few of the bushes with his gun barrel, something darted past them and all four agents jumped back. Morgan slamming into the fence behind him.

“It was a squirrel” Reid let out a breath. Morgan closed and shook his head,

“I’m too tired for this”

Rossi knelt down, “It wasn’t just a squirrel” he put his gun away and pulled a few of the bushes aside, it revealed a woman with wide eyes, spoons protruding out of her open mouth.

Prentiss moved a few feet away and bent over, emptying the contents of her stomach. The whiskey burned worse on the way up.

Reid leaned back, falling into a sitting position, “What would happen if a girl swallowed her spoon…” 

Megan Harriott lay still, the words ‘she couldn’t stir’ carved into her forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The First Tee is an actual organization in DC, everything else is fiction. I have no relation with TFT.


	5. The Smoke

Prentiss unlocked her door and stepped back, letting JJ in first. She kicked something next to the door and looked down, a small brown package sat on her threshold. She picked it up and followed JJ inside, locking the door behind them.

“Are you sure you’re okay Em?” JJ asked, she stood next to the coach, worry written on her face.

Prentiss nodded, flashes of the body discovered the day before crisscrossing through her brain,

“I hadn’t talked to her in years… her and my mother had a falling out when I was eleven.”

“You still knew her” JJ said.

“Yeah,” Emily pulled her coat off and threw it across the room haphazardly, “I could really use some wine and a stupid movie”

JJ laughed, “After two days of running around dealing with the media and local law enforcement-”

“Not to mention Rossi’s constant whining about his scotch” Prentiss added, JJ nodded, “A stupid movie and wine sounds awesome”

Prentiss moved to the kitchen and pulled out two wine glasses and set them on the counter, “Hey JJ”

JJ looked up from where she crouched next to Emily’s drawer of CD’s, “Yeah?”

“Red or white?” Prentiss asked, holding up each bottle as she asked.

“Mm, red” JJ smiled and held up a movie case, “Titanic?”

Prentiss laughed, “I didn’t even know I owned that”

“I used to love this movie,” JJ flipped it over and looked at the back, “I guess we all have bad judgement sometimes”

Prentiss brought the two glasses over as JJ pushed the CD into the player, “Speaking of bad judgement, I’m wearing a white shirt”

JJ shrugged and took the wine, she nudged her chin towards the package on the side table next to the couch, “What’s that?”

Prentiss picked it up, “It’s from my mother”

“Your mom?” JJ leaned over Prentiss to look, “Are you going to open it?”

Emily sat down as the movie started and used her keys to rip open the tape, she opened the flaps and sucked in a sharp breath, pushing the package away from her. JJ looked up in alarm,

“What?”

Prentiss stood, moving so quickly she josseled her wine, spilling it down her shirt. JJ stood as well, setting her glass down, “Emily!”

“It’s a bomb” Prentiss said, picking up her keys, “Call Hotch”

JJ looked inside the box and pulled out her phone quickly, “How long will it take to evacuate the building?”

Prentiss turned with wide eyes, “Uh, twenty minutes?”

“We have five” she said dialing a number, before the person on the other side could answer, JJ interrupted, “Hotch? It’s JJ, I’m with Emily at her apartment, the Unsub sent a bomb” panic edged her voice.

“A bomb?” exhaustion edged his voice.

“Yeah, at least I think it was him, but yes Hotch a bomb, it’s a bomb” JJ rambled

“Get out now, I’ll send bomb squad, I’m on my way” Hotch said quickly. JJ nodded and turned to Prentiss,

“Go, we need to go”

Prentiss turned and unlocked the small lock, when she moved to the padlock, it wouldn’t budge.

“We have a problem JJ!” Prentiss pushed with both hands, only succeeding in slipping and falling into the wall, “I can’t get the door unlocked!”

JJ began to shake, “Hotch, the door won’t budge, the Unsub must’ve done something once we were inside”

She could hear sirens on the other end and the screech of a car tire, “Is there a window? I’m almost there”

JJ moved to the window and looked out, “Emily, are your windows barred?”

Prentiss slammed her palm into her forehead, “Oh god, I was so worried about someone getting in-”

Hotch, now on speaker, interrupted her, “How much time?”

JJ gulped, sweat dripping down her forehead and opened the small box a little more, “Three minutes”

Prentiss ran to the kitchen and pulled a hammer out of a drawer, she rushed back to the door and hit it hard onto the padlock, it pinged off, not making a difference, “JJ” she warned.

“Hotch, what do I do? I don’t know what to do” JJ was on the brink of tears at this point. Hotch seemed calm,

“Can you see any wires? Anywhere were the bomb might be connected to the timer”

JJ shook her head, “No, nothing, I can’t- I can’t see anything, where are you?”

“I’m outside, Morgan is with me, we’re on our way up” Hotch said, his voice shook just a little, JJ sucked in a breath.

“I’m sorry Hotch, I shouldn’t have insisted on going home” Prentiss stood next to JJ, their arms linked for support.

Someone rammed into the door outside. Hotch’s voice could be heard from both outside the door and from the phone, “I approved it, you have nothing to be sorry for”

Morgan’s voice came next, he was out of breath from slamming into the door, “Put the bomb in the sink and fill it with something, rice, flour, salt, doesn’t matter, then get as far away as you can”

The door shook again and shifted a little. Prentiss picked up the bomb gingerly, “Okay, yeah, I can do that”

JJ followed after her, not knowing what else to do. Prentiss pointed at a cupboard near the oven, “There’s flour in there”

JJ pulled it out quickly, heaving it onto the counter next to the sink and dumping it over the bomb. She didn’t stop until the whole thing was emptied. The bomb started to beep and JJ tugged on Prentiss’ arm, “Hotch, we’re out of time”

They hadn’t even made it halfway across the living room when it went off. Outside, Morgan yelled for them. Hotch stood still, holding the phone in one hand and closed his eyes.

“H-Hotch?”

Hotch’s head snapped towards the phone, as did Morgan’s, “JJ?”

Morgan looked at the door with determination in his tired eyes and shoved against it, hard. It fell in, groaning at the pressure.

JJ sat up from the floor where Prentiss had pulled her down and looked around, a foal smell filled the air and the sink was surrounded by blue smoke, “It was a smoke bomb?”

She looked at Emily who, to her surprise, started laughing. She stared at her with an odd look, Prentiss shook her head and waved her hand at her,

“I’m sorry I just- I thought we were going to die” she let out another fit of laughter, “It was a smoke bomb!”

JJ continued to stare at her, her mouth slowly stretched into a smile until she was laughing along with her.

Morgan and Hotch rushed in, it didn’t take them long to realize what had happened. When they did they let out a relieved breath, Morgan leaned against the wall as Hotch hung up the phone. They watched the two as they stood, leaning into each other as they laughed.

“Are they laughing?” Morgan asked, leaning towards Hotch.

Hotch took a deep breath to calm his nerves, “Shock”

Morgan shook his head and stepped forward, wrapping the two women in hugs, JJ calmed down and hugged him back, then walked up to Hotch, “Sorry we scared you”

Hotch shook his head, “I’m just glad you’re both alright”

He looked at Morgan and Prentiss, Prentiss standing with a wine stained shirt, both of them looking hazy behind the blue smoke, then at the TV, playing that Celine Dion song he’d heard one too many times. Hotch nodded and left the room, beckoning for the other three to follow.

It had been one hell of a night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how much I liked this, the past few chapters have had a lot of stuff. The next chapter should be more about the case and solving it, then more action lol, as always love-bugs, thanks for reading!


	6. The Clues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to pallyndrome for being so supportive, I appreciate it! I thought the team could use a short break to try and figure out what's going on, hopefully it worked. Any-who, thanks for read love-bugs!

Reid stepped out of the black SUV and rushed towards the front of Prentiss’ apartment building, Rossi close behind him. They flashed their badges quickly to the police standing in front of the crime scene tape who nodded and stepped aside to let them through.

“Are you guys alright?” Reid asked, stopping next to JJ’s elbow, the latter nodded,

“Yeah, the bomb wasn’t meant to hurt us”

Morgan put his hands on his hips, “Then why put it there? To scare you?”

“If so, mission accomplished” Prentiss said quietly, she was still visibly shaken.

Hotch shook his head, “You said the package was from your mother?”

Prentiss nodded her confirmation, “Don’t worry about putting her in protective custody, she’s in Venice for the next month” Prentiss closed her eyes for a moment, “I should’ve known something was wrong the second I saw the address” 

“This wasn’t your fault Emily,” Rossi stepped in, “The Unsub’s tricked all of us”

“Where’s Penelope?” JJ asked quietly, she could use one of the bright womens hugs right about now.

“We dropped her off at the Bureau before we came here, she wants to get forensics to push our case to the top” Rossi replied, he chuckled, “If anyone can twist forensics arm it’s Penelope Garcia”

Morgan grinned, he was about to say something when Hotch beat him to it, steering them back to the topic at hand, “Let’s go over what we know”

Almost out of the blue Reid spoke up, frustration edging his voice, “We don’t know anything” he pushed past Morgan and walked to the other side of one of the SUV’s.

Before anyone could make a move Hotch followed him, nodding to Rossi to keep brainstorming. He walked up to Reid and stood silently while the young man paced, Reid shook his head, eyes trained on the ground,

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I just feel like I’m missing something” He rubbed at his eyes.

“You don’t have to have the answers for everything Reid” Hotch said softly. Reid just shook his head again,

“It doesn’t fit”

Hotch sighed, “Reid-”

“No, Hotch, the scent, it doesn’t fit! Everything he’s done has been a clue to something else. He took the spoons so we would know it was him when we found the body that the clue at Rossi’s house led us too, he wouldn’t have just put that scent there for no reason. It has to mean something” Reid stopped and looked at Hotch, “Please Hotch, I know I’m right about this”

Hotch glanced back at the rest of the team who, not so subtly, pretended they hadn’t been watching them, then looked back to the youngest member, “Okay, call Garcia while we start on the way back to the BAU,”

Reid nodded and pulled out his phone. Hotch walked back to join Rossi, “Reid thinks the diffuser left at JJ’s house meant something. Garcia’s looking into it”

“C’mon Hotch, are we really going after something that vague?” Morgan asked, casting a worried glance at Reid.

“Right now, we can’t rule anything out,” Hotch looked pointedly at JJ and Prentiss, “We’re heading to work. Do you two need medical attention?”

They both shook their heads, Hotch turned to Morgan, “How’s the shoulder?”

Morgan folded his arms, “My shoulders fine”

Rossi reached out and poked it with two fingers, Morgan barely hid his wince. At Rossi’s raised eyebrow he sighed, “It’s just a bruise. I’m fine”

“Have it checked out anyway” Hotch said, opening the door to one of the SUV’s. 

“Really Hotch I’m okay, I just want to catch the guy” Morgan pleaded, Hotch matched his eye contact, neither of them spoke for at least fifteen seconds, then Hotch sighed,

“Okay”

Morgan didn’t wait for him to change his mind, he tapped Prentiss on the shoulder and the two got in the second SUV. JJ got in the driver's seat of the third, Reid joining her, phone still held to his ear.

“I guess I’m with you” Rossi said lightly, joining Hotch. After driving for a good five minutes, Rossi pulled out his wallet, inside were a few pictures, after a quick glance, Hotch only recognized one. A smiling picture of the team, standing in front of the BAU. He remembered taking that picture after a particularly good case, Garcia had insisted they needed to commemorate the moment, no one tried to argue.

“This is only the beginning Hotch” Rossi sighed.

Hotch nodded, eyes on the road, “I know”

“Do you think they’ll be okay?” 

“They’re stronger than we give them credit for” Hotch replied.

Rossi flipped his wallet shut, “They’re also more human” Rossi squinted at Hotch, “What about you?”

Hotch shook his head, “I shouldn’t have let them go home. Not after he broke into JJ’s house and yours”

“No one was hurt Hotch,” Rossi shrugged, “Aside from Morgan’s shoulder, but I’ve seen him get hurt worse training with Emily”

“That isn’t the point Dave” Hotch stopped at a red light and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently, “If it had been a real bomb, we never would’ve gotten in in time”

Rossi shifted slightly, turning towards Hotch, “What is it you told Reid? You don’t have to have the answers to everything Aaron”

“That’s doesn’t-”

“It does! You can’t expect to know everything before it happens and you can’t be expected to have the right answer to every problem”

Hotch fell silent. Rossi turned back to the window. As they pulled into the parking lot of the BAU and stopped the car Hotch raised his eyebrow at Rossi, “Were you eavesdropping on that whole conversation?”

Rossi stepped out of the vehicle and shrugged, “Not eavesdropping, collecting intelligence”

Hotch smiled a little, “Right” 

Rossi nodded firmly and led the way to the elevators, the two swiped their passes to get through the doors.

As the elevator doors started to close, Hotch stepped forward and stopped them, standing in front until JJ and Reid caught up. JJ smiled, “Thanks”

Rossi looked out into the parking garage, “Morgan and Prentiss?”

“My bet is they’re already here” JJ said, leaning into the corner of the elevator, “You know how Morgan drives”

“Do you think he used his sirens?” Reid asked casually.

Rossi snorted, “I wouldn’t put it past him”

Hotch stepped back and pressed the seventh floor button. Reid fidgeted with his hands, JJ smiled at him reassuringly. He’d never like elevators, especially full ones.

As soon as the chime rang and the elevator doors opened, Reid was out. Hotch stepped to the side, letting JJ and Rossi leave before him. As they thought, Morgan and Prentiss had already arrived. Prentiss walked out of the bullpen, “Garcia found a match for the scent, Morgan’s down there now”

Without a word, the group followed her to Garcia’s office, when they stepped inside Morgan smirked at them, “About time”

Hotch ignored him and stood next to Garcia, “What did you find?” 

“Okay so, when Reid called me I was super confused on why you would want some random diffuser identified but what I found was odd” Garcia pulled up the report on her computer, “The scent wasn’t an oil or natural scent like what you’re supposed to use, it matched to the scent of a tea leaf”

Reid leaned over her shoulder, “There were no other ingredients… as far as I know, that specific tea leaf is only used untampered in one tea”

Morgan nodded, “Okay..” he waved his hand as a prompt.

“Uh, scottish blend tea, it’s very hard to get in the US” Reid finished.

“Scottish, like scotch?” JJ mused, Prentiss shrugged.

“Oh god” Garcia looked up at Reid, “Scottish blend, it was my mom's favorite, I personally don’t like the taste but I keep some in my kitchen as a reminder of her”

Reid looked at Hotch, “Do you think it’s a coincidence?”

“Nothing this Unsub’s done has been an accident. Garcia, where do you keep the tea?” Hotch said, softening his voice for the last part. Garcia gulped,

“It’s on top of the fridge in a little burgundy box”

Hotch nodded and left the room. The rest took that as their que to follow. Morgan waited until everyone was gone before turning to Garcia, “Are you okay?”

Garcia started to nod, then shook her head, “He was in my house”

“I know Baby Girl, hey, you don’t have to go back there until this is over” Morgan knelt next to her, “We’ll figure it out”

“I don’t want this to end like last time” Garcia said, so soft Morgan barely heard. He knew she was talking about the Fisher King,

“It won’t. None of us are going to get hurt” he planted a kiss on her forehead, “I promise” Morgan stood to follow his team.

“Come back to me?” Garcia called out, he stopped and flashed her a grin,

“Always Mama”


	7. The Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't my favorite chapter, I'm trying to get to a certain point before things really get dicy, shouldn't be long now. As always, thank you for the constant support!

JJ sat on the floor, leaning against Garcia’s counter and nursing her wrist. Morgan sat next to her, “I’m real sorry JJ, I should’ve been paying better attention”

JJ shook her head, “It’s fine, we both went at each other”

Reid joined them on the floor, “Did you break it?”

“The move isn’t meant to break someone’s wrist Reid,” Morgan said defensively, “Just hurt it enough to get the gun away from ‘em”

Prentiss leaned down to hand JJ a bag of frozen corn, “I’m surprised you didn’t shoot him when he pounced around the corner”

“I almost did” JJ said, throwing a teasing smile at Morgan, “It’s probably a good think you stopped me”

“Hey guys” Rossi said from across the kitchen. The agents looked up at him as he made his way over with a wood box, “The tea’s gone”

“Did he leave anything?” Reid asked as he stood and took the box. From the bedroom, Hotch called out to them,

“He didn’t leave it in the box”

Morgan stood with the rest of them and offered JJ a hand, she smiled and took it, still holding the corn against her wrist.

Hotch walked to the bedroom door to meet them and flipped on the lightswitch, it illuminated the wall, and the writing on it that read:

‘DEREK KEATON’

“Is that blood?” Prentiss asked, stepping closer to it. Reid did the same, 

“It isn’t all the way dry...” 

Rossi shook his head, “Penelope is going to be horrified”

“We’ll make sure it’s cleaned up before she comes home” Hotch looked at each of his agents, “Does that mean anything to any of you?”

“Yeah” everyone looked at the man by the door, Morgan had his head down.

“Morgan?” Hotch prompted as he moved closer to him.

“It’s uh- it was my name during the deep cover operation I did in Chicago”

Reid wrinkled his eyebrows, “How is that a clue?”

Morgan looked up, “The friend I was talking about, the Unsub took his kid brother? He was my partner, he died” Morgan didn’t give details, the team didn’t ask.

“So… what could this possibly lead to. Your operation was in Chicago, not DC” JJ said as she examined the blood.

Prentiss pulled on a glove and wiped some of the blood off the wall with it, then stuck the glove in an evidence bag, “Maybe it’s in the blood”

“Give it to one of the agents outside, have them rush it to Garcia” Hotch said and stepped to the side to let her walk past.

“Guys…” the team turned to Reid, who held up an empty plastic container, “It’s apple juice”

Rossi huffed, “Any way it’s Garcia’s?”

“Look at this place Rossi, It might seem cluttered but it’s not messy at all” JJ folded her arms, “It’s another clue”

Reid scratched his chin as he examined the bottle, “This isn’t a name brand, it’s from a farm just outside of Quantico, they only sell this in a few stores across the DC area”

Hotch nodded, “And those are?”

“Uuh, Farmhouse Continental, Halbertsons and Rosso’s” Reid replied.

“Why do you know that?” Morgan didn’t wait for Reid to answer, “We said that nothing this Unsub does is an accident, the store he chose wouldn’t be either”

Reid tilted his head, “I used to get coffee beans at Rosso’s until about two weeks ago”

“What happened two weeks ago?” Rossi asked as he leaned against the doorframe.

Reid bagged the apple juice bottle and handed it off to a young CSI, “They closed for refurbishment” 

“We need to get over there” Hotch waved his hand towards the door, waiting until everyone was out before following, casting a glance back at the writing. He sighed, at least he already knew how to get blood off walls.

********

“FBI!” JJ yelled as Morgan kicked the door down. The two turned their backs against each other as they scanned the storeroom of Rosso’s with their flashlights. In the distance, they could hear Prentiss and Reid, to the right of them, Rossi and Hotch.

“Clear!” Prentiss’ voice echoed through the room, JJ echoed her as well and the four met in the middle.

“We’ve got something!” Rossi shouted, the rest held their guns close as they walked up to meet them.

Morgan stopped a good four feet behind the rest of them and put the back of his hand over his mouth, leaning onto one knee.

The others stood around a large trash bin, filled with empty apple juice containers, lying haphazardly on top was a body, two bullet holes in his still chest. 

“Derek is this-?” JJ didn’t have to finish, the look on Morgan’s face answered her question. He turned abruptly and stalked away, slamming his fist into the door on the way out.

Reid looked at the body for a split second before following his friend. He walked outside and squinted at the lights from the sirens, he spotted Morgan on the other side, he had his forearms pressed against the wall and his head leaning against it. He walked up slowly,

“Morgan?”

The older agent didn’t look up, “He didn’t deserve that”

Reid cautiously stepped closer, “No one does”

“Yeah but especially not him!” Morgan sat up, glaring daggers at Reid. When the latter took a step back, his eyes softened, “I’m sorry kid, I just… he was a good guy” 

Reid nodded, “I know” he looked at the ground, crime scene photos of Harry and his wife blurring his vision, “We’re going to catch him”

Morgan turned and put his back to the wall, leaning his head back to look at the stars, “Five days ago we were worried about monthly reports”

“Do you think Strauss will give us an extension?”

Morgan laughed and ruffled Reid’s hair, “Not bad Pretty Boy” 

Reid ducked and brushed his hair back, “So we’re good? You’re not still mad about the whole ratting you out to Garcia thing?”

“I was never mad kid, but yeah, it’s all in the past” Morgan paused, “Past… he’s only targeting our pasts”

“What?”

“Reid, listen, everything he’s done, the people he’s hurt, the things he knows about us, they’re all in our past” Morgan explained.

Reid shrugged, “Except he knows where we live currently”

“That’s my point, where would he only be able to get info on our past relations and our current addresses?”

Reid’s eyes widened, “The BAU database! If they could get into our original files, the ones we submitted when we first joined, it would list acquaintances we may not be in contact with anymore, the only thing they update yearly is a current address!” 

“And there’s a lot less security because no one would think they’d want to get in”

“Easier to hack”

Morgan stood straighter and walked past Reid, pushing his shoulder to get him to follow, “We need to tell Hotch”


	8. The Bomb

Hotch turned as Garcia rushed into the conference room, laptop in hand, “I have so much news”

“Did you get a hit on the blood?” Morgan asked. Garcia shuddered, 

“You mean the blood this sicko left on my beautiful newly painted walls? Yes.”

Rossi sat down, “Who’s was it?”

Garcia glanced at Morgan, who sighed, “It was the kids wasn’t it”

The tech analyst nodded, “It matched the DNA of the body you found at Rosso’s” she put her laptop down, “I also talked to records and apparently they did have a glitch in their system but no one noticed because it was during the bi-monthly evac drill”

Prentiss shook her head, “Perfect cover”

Garcia held up a finger, “But I also got a hit on the three rings found at JJ’s”

JJ walked to stand behind her, “Who?”

“They belong to three agents who work two floors down”

Reid wrinkled his nose, “What?”

Garcia nodded, “I’m not finished, the weird thing is, unlike the rest of the rings owners, these agents aren’t missing, they’ve clocked in every day in the past week”

“Including today?” Prentiss asked, when Garcia nodded, she looked at Hotch, “We need to talk to them”

“Okay, Dave, go with her. As of now, they aren’t suspects but be careful” Hotch nodded to them as they left.

“Hey Hotch?” Hotch looked at Reid, who looked at Morgan, who nodded.

“If you don’t know any of the other three people then there’s a large chance that the person you know is-”

“The Unsub” Morgan finished.

Hotch turned back to the board, “I know, I’ve gone through records and made calls, no one I’ve put away has recently been realised and I can’t find any family members or acquaintances that fit the profile” he shook his head, “Without a motive, without a suspect, we’re playing his game”

JJ put her face in her hands, “He’s doing this on purpose, spacing out the attacks just enough to keep us exhausted and on edge”

“We can’t do this much longer Hotch” Morgan admitted.

Hotch let a breath out through his nose, “Then let’s make sure we don’t have to”

********

“Agent Andrews!” Prentiss called out to an agent walking down the hall, he turned and paled when he saw them. 

Rossi walked up to him, “Can we ask you a few questions?”

He looked around nervously then back at the two agents, “It’s not time”

“Time for what?” Prentiss asked slowly.

“You have to wait for the others”

Rossi gave Prentiss a look, “Do you mean agents Tracy and Morris?”

Agent Andrews looked at the ground, “And God saw everything that He had made, and, behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.”

Prentiss put her hand on her gun, “Why don’t you come with us?”

“Keep my wife safe” He pulled his gun off his hip, before either Prentiss or Rossi could react, he turned it to his head and pulled the trigger.

The people around them started to panic, the agents pulled their guns, the rest made for the door.

Prentiss put her hands up, “It wasn’t us!”

Another shot rang through the air and Rossi spun, spotting Agent Tracy just as he hit the ground. Prentiss drew her gun as a third shot rang out and someone yelled Agent Morris’ name.

She looked at Rossi with panicked eyes, “What the hell?”

Rossi shook his head, “Have Anderson track down their families, the Unsub was threatening them”

Prentiss looked down at Andrews, Rossi moved past her, “Now Emily!”

The young woman snapped out of her daze and rushed after him, Rossi led them back to the seventh floor and into the bullpen. Prentiss split off towards Anderson as Rossi sped up to meet the rest of the team, Hotch met him next to Reid’s desk,

“We heard there was gunfire, what happened?”

“They just shot themselves Aaron! No warning, nothing! It was fear tactic” He turned to Reid, “Andrews quoted Genesis to us before he fired, the verse about the sixth day, is there something we’re missing?”

Reid’s eyes widened, “Seven days! That’s it, today is the sixth day since I got the letter, he’s set everything in motion so it takes exactly this long for us to figure each clue out”

“Are you saying he’s religion based?” Morgan asked, “That wasn’t in the profile”

Hotch shook his head, “I don’t think he is, but he likes patterns, clues, the spoons and the riddle, the writing the apple juice it all connects”

“So he has extreme OCD” JJ said, “Combine that with a psychotic break and you have a motivation to kill in an intelligent way”

“He wants to outsmart us” Morgan shook his head, “Kid, what happens on the seventh day?”

“God goes back to heaven and watches his creations, it’s a day of rest” Reid answered.

Prentiss walked back up to them, “Anderson and a few other agents are on the way to Andrews’, Morris’ and Tracy’s homes”

Reid looked around, “Heaven…”

“What is it Reid?” Hotch asked, lowering his eyebrows at the young agent.

“Heaven is where it started, when God rests he goes back to where it all started, in the letter the Unsub sent me he said our meeting would come soon. It all started here! The letter was delivered here” Reid rambled.

Prentiss looked around as well, “He’s coming here on the seventh day”

Rossi looked down at his watch, “It’s eleven o’clock pm”

Hotch turned and waved a security guard over, “We need a full evacuation now!”

The guard started to say something when the lights above turned red. A voice came through the guards radio,

“Someone is in the building, he killed the guards at the front gate and shut off the cameras!”

The security guard looked at Hotch for a split second then turned, using the key attached to his belt to open a small compartment, inside was another key hole and a button. He shoved a different key in as he pressed the button. 

The red lights turned yellow as agents started lining up at the doors.

“Hotch, this is going to take to long” JJ warned, “We’re on the seventh floor, it’ll take a good forty five minutes to get out”

Hotch looked at his agents, panic setting in. He kept his expression calm, “Then get ready”

********

Hotch’s phone rang and he pulled it out, stepping away from the others before answering, “Hotchner”

“I was just informed you condoned a full evacuation Agent Hotchner” Strauss’ angry voice came through the receiver.

Hotch looked at the ceiling, “All due respect ma’am but I have reason to believe we are all in danger”

“It’s one man against an entire building of trained FBI agents! You are causing panic”

“This Unsub has taken too much time perfecting this case, keeping my team on edge. He won’t come in here with a gun and a half baked plan to kill a couple agents”

Strauss paused, “You think it’s a bomb”

Hotch looked back at his team, all of them showing some nervous tick. He turned so they couldn’t tell what he was saying, “I do”

“Aaron, I want you out of there”

Hotch could’ve laughed at her sudden change in demeanor. He didn’t, “There are protocols, We have to wait until the lower floors are clear”

“Then I’ll send bomb squad!”

“They won’t get here in time. Let my team do our job, talk him down”

Strauss huffed, “Do you really think you can”

“We have to try” He hung up and put his phone in his pocket. When he joined his team Rossi gestured at his phone, 

“What was that about?”

 

“Strauss” Hotch looked around, “She was questioning my decision to start a full evac”

“Was?” Rossi asked.

Hotch nodded, “I explained the situation and she agrees”

The security guard from before stepped forward, “They’re ready for us to go down” he led them outside, “We’ll take the stairs, I don’t want to risk the elevator shutting down.”

He opened the stairwell door when a gunshot rang through. The team pulled out their guns and Garcia stepped behind Morgan as the security guard fell back to the ground, a bullet hole clear on his forehead.

A man stepped through the stairwell door and grinned at them, Hotch glared, “Maxwell Corduroy”

Maxwell smiled, “So you remember me!” he looked at the other agents, “We were friends a long time ago, when Aaron was still a lawyer”

Hotch cocked his gun, “Until I found out you’d been planting evidence, convicting innocents to further your career”

“Oh ho! He really does remember! You ruined me, sent me to jail for fifteen years”

Rossi stepped forward, “From planting evidence to murder? Pretty big step”

Maxwell walked past him and up to Reid, so close his chest was pressed into the young man’s revolver, “I knew your dad you know, William, used to work at the same law firm before I moved on to bigger things” he smiled at Hotch, “Small world huh?”

“That’s enough, put your hands in the air and drop the weapon!” Morgan spat, stepping between Maxwell and Reid.

The former held up his gun, “This one?” he chuckled and pulled back his jacket, revealing a large bomb strapped to his chest, “Or this one” his gaze turned sinister and he threw the gun, hard. The team ducked as the movement made it go off, the bullet lodged into the ceiling.

Maxwell walked further into the BAU, stopping just before the large glass windows, “And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.”

He grinned, his eyes flashing with anger, “Today is a day for rest, for all of us”

Hotch’s eyes widened and he pushed JJ and Morgan -who happened to be closest to him- forward, “Go!”

The seven of them bolted towards the bullpen, trying to get as far away as they could.

The last thing Hotch heard was Rossi's watch, chiming twelve o'clock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here we go, get ready for angst love-bugs


	9. The Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here comes the hard part. I want them to be caring and protective towards each other, but I also don't want to go OOC. Along with that, I have no idea how bulidings work, especially bombed buildings and specifically large bombed buildings so I'm kind of winging it. If you have any ideas on how to make it more realistic with both of those things, please do. For now, I'm just going to say, as far as characters go, traumatic events change people.

The BAU doors had shattered. Desks toppled, papers and reports scattered across the dirty bullpen floor.

Italian shoes could be seen from under one of the desks, looking uncannily close to the image of the wicked witch pinned under a house. 

The FBI seal once printed proudly on the wall was now in pieces on the ground, cutting the oxygen off for the only mother on the team.

Up on the balcony hallway, the glass was barely intact. The unit chief had almost made it up the stairs.

Blonde hair, matted down with blood, was spread on the ground in the far corner of the room. A man with the tip of the tattoo snaking down his arm visible below his shirt sleeve lay in front of her, his back arched like he’d been trying to shield her from what was coming.

It was a cliche, the flag falling from the wall and draping over the young government agent just so. His messenger bags contents were scattered next to him, a worn book pressed under a bleeding, boney hand.

A pole pinned her down, one shoe off, one shoe missing its tall black heel. The dark haired woman still clutching her weapon, even as the enemy had gone from sight. 

No one spoke. No one shifted. The only noise was the off tone beeping of a watch, damaged in the fall.

The aftermath.

The eye of the hurricane.

The calm after the storm.

A hand started to shake, tapping against the stair it rested on. Nerve endings firing, spasming. The shaking turned to clenching, white knuckles clashing with red blood. 

Hotch groaned.

It’s an odd thing, will. The will to live, the will to choose, the will to protect those who mean everything to you. It drives you to the far reaches of your mind, memories flooding, tears pooling, and then the sensation of drowning overcomes you and you swim, you fight. 

Sometimes you lose.

And sometimes you win.

Hotch managed to get an eye open, groaning again at his headache and the raw pain in his right foot.

“Get up”

It wasn’t his voice, it wasn’t his teams. It was Haley’s. Hotch closed his other fist, pulling himself up to his knees.

“Aaron, get up” a soft hand on his cheek forced a breath out of Hotch’s lungs he hadn’t known he couldn’t take. He looked around for her, it didn’t take him long to realize she had never been there.

Slowly, ever so painfully slowly, Hotch pulled himself up to stand, steadying himself on the railings that had miraculously stayed sturdy.

His foot gave out beneath him and he bit back a yelp, he looked down at his foot and winced at the blood, it must’ve hit something when the explosion went off.

“... Explosion” he had to find his team.

As if on cue, a strangled cry rang out from a few feet away and a hand, fingers bleeding, pushed its way out from under rubble and drywall.

Hotch made his way towards it, running, crawling, falling until he made it. A sudden burst of adrenaline ripped through him and he started to dig, not caring when the broken pieces of the wall cut into his palms and forearms. Finally, he dug far enough to see a torso, he held firmly onto the arms of his teammate and pulled.

JJ’s gasp turned into a choked sob as she was lifted from the rubble. Her breathing was short, a gash in her head bled into her eye. She clutched onto Hotch as she hyperventilated.

“JJ, breath, you have to breath” he repeated it again and again as he rubbed her shoulders, giving her time they didn’t have to calm down. When she did she fell back, pressing a hand to her head. Hotch pulled off his tie and handed it to her. She nodded in thanks and pressed it to her forehead,

“What happened?” she looked around, “Where’s everyone else?”

Hotch stood, putting most of his weight on his left foot, and offered her a hand, “That’s what we need to find out”

As JJ stood her eyes widened, “Oh god Hotch! Your ears! Are you okay?”

Hotch lifted a cautious hand to the side of his head, coming away with blood. Two explosions within six months of each other probably wasn’t good, “I’m fine”

Before she could argue he turned and spotted the two bodies in the corner, “JJ”

JJ followed his line of sight and immediately moved towards them, tripping a few times as her breathing began to quicken again.

The two made it to the other side of the room and knelt, JJ’s hand shook as she felt for a pulse. She nodded at Hotch and he turned Morgan onto his back, 

“Morgan, can you hear me?”

He groaned and JJ let out a breath of relief, “Derek, wake up” 

On command, his hand lifted to his face. Hotch turned to Garcia and slowly lifted her into a sitting position, “Garcia, Penelope, look at me”

Garcia moaned a noise that sounded a lot like ‘no’. Hotch subconsciously brushed her hair away from her face, grimacing at the bruise forming on it, “Penelope it’s Hotch”

“Sir?”

Hotch almost smiled, “Yeah, it’s me, can you open your eyes?”

Garcia opened them just a slit and managed a half smile, “Look at you, my knight in shining armour”

“Can you stand?” Hotch asked, taking her hands. Garcia nodded and let him help pull her up, he put an arm around her shoulder, letting her lean into him for support.

Next to them, Morgan and JJ stood, Morgan looked relatively unharmed. When he saw Garcia his eyes widened, Hotch watched as they filled with guilt, “Don’t”

“Hotch-” he started. Hotch didn’t let him finish,

“It isn’t your fault”

Garcia looked between the two, “What’s not his fault?”

Morgan stepped up to her and rubbed his thumb across her cheek before replacing Hotch’s arm with his own, “Nothing Momma, don’t worry about it” he looked at Hotch, “Reid, Emily, Rossi?”

JJ put a hand on his arm and pointed at one of the desks, Reid’s, by the look of it. Without explanation, she ran over and started to push, her breathing was raspy, when the rest of them joined her, Morgan pulled her away,

“We’ve got it, you need to take it easy”

“Take it easy?” JJ started to argue when a fit of coughing took over, she double over and hacked. Morgan put a hand on her back and crouched to meet her level. When she looked at him, blood dripped down her chin.

“You might not be injured on the outside JJ, but you’re still hurt” Morgan said as he put his hands on her shoulders, lowering her down next to Garcia.

“Morgan!” Hotch shouted, suddenly realizing what JJ had been doing. Morgan rushed to him as he bent to lift the desk, “Help me get it off of him”

“Off of-” Morgan stopped when he saw Rossi’s shoes, “Oh my god” he moved to the other side of the desk and heaved along with Hotch.

They managed to move the desk a few feet away from the man. Hotch lowered himself down next to him, “Dave?”

Rossi didn’t say anything, just held up his hand and waved Hotch away.

“Dave, you’re in shock, you need to get up” Hotch said, taking his best friends hand.

“Aaron, I’m not in shock” he did sit up though, despite his complaint, “I’m just too damn old for this”

Hotch let out a breath and Rossi smiled, “You can’t get rid of me that easy old friend”

Morgan joined them on the floor, “Are you okay?”

“I think my shins are bruised” Rossi answered, “Other than that, I’m okay”

“-what happened?”

The group turned to the new voice to see Prentiss staggering towards them. Morgan stood and met her, catching her when she tripped, “Hey, hey Emily”

Prentiss shook her head, “He has a bomb”

JJ stood and put a hand on her friends elbow, “We know Em, he set it off”

“I- is everyone okay?” she asked, focusing on JJ.

“Spencer” Garcia said suddenly, “Where’s Spencer?”

“Shit” Morgan looked around the room, “I don’t see him”

Hotch and Rossi stood and joined the rest of them in digging through rubble and other debris. Rossi grabbed Hotch’s arm and pulled him with him, towards the corner of the room, the flag once hanging on the bullpen wall lay on the floor. Reid’s messenger bag next to it.

Hotch yelled to the others and they moved their focus to that area. Rossi moved the flag, 

“Hotch!”

Everyone turned at the shout, Morgan made it to him first. He ran his hand over his head and closed his eyes for a split second before kneeling next to Reid’s unmoving form, “Reid?”

When he didn’t get a reply, he checked for a pulse, “No” he whispered and crossed his hands over the young agents chest. 

“Spence?” JJ’s voice broke as she sunk down and took Reid’s hand. Her eyes shone with tears.

Morgan started CPR, “C’mon kid”

The team watched in horror as their youngest member lay still on the floor.


	10. The Pain

“Wake up Reid” Morgan said again, putting more pressure on the young man's chest. Statistics he’d been told ran through his head, how often did people come back using CPR? He couldn’t remember exactly, just that is was low. Too low.

Behind him, tears streaked Garcia’s face and for the first time, no one on the team moved to comfort her, they were all to occupied, watching on the edge of their seats, willing their Reid to come back to them.

Prentiss slowly knelt next to JJ, she brushed Reid’s hair off his face with shaking hands, “Reid?”

After what felt like an eternity, a soft gasp escaped his lips and he arched his back, starting to choke. Morgan pushed him up frantically, JJ pulled him towards her, hugging him as he regained his breathing.

Morgan sat back and looked at his hands. Rossi bent down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, “You did it”

Morgan turned to his side and scrambled up, he shook his head and backed away. Hotch pursed his lips and followed.

“Morgan?”

“I felt his-” Morgan stopped and put his palms to the sides of his head, “I felt his rib break”

Hotch stepped closer to him, “You saved him”

Morgan shook his head again, “I broke the kids rib Hotch! What if it punctures his lung or he never quite recovers? What if- he’d never forgive me if it meant never going into the field again”

“We can’t think like that,” Hotch looked back at his team, broken, beaten, and closed his eyes, “We have to find a way out”

Hotch shifted his weight slightly and fell, holding his ankle above his injured foot. Morgan was next to him in a second, “Hotch, what?”

Hotch took a shaky breath, “I broke my foot”

“Why are you walking on it?” Morgan half yelled.

“There’s a medical kit in my office” when Morgan stood to get it, Hotch called him back, “Wait, we don’t know if it’s safe in there, there’s broken glass and the walls may not be stable”

Morgan didn’t stop to think, he climbed up the stairs and opened Hotch’s office door cautiously. A few wires hung from the ceiling and Hotch had been right about the glass, other than that, Morgan thought it looked fine. He stepped across the glass and opened each drawer in Hotch’s desk slowly and quietly, like if he made to much noise the whole roof would come down.

The bottom drawer held a white plastic box, Morgan picked it up and walked back out. As he shut the door behind him it creaked and leaned dangerously. Morgan’s eyes widened and ran down the stairs, tripping and rolling away before the door fell-

In.

The door fell into Hotch’s office.

Morgan let out a breath and shook his head, moving over to Hotch and handing him the kit.

Hotch opened it and pulled out gauze and a bandage. He stood.

“Hey hey! Hotch you can’t just go walkin’ around!” Morgan called after him, standing to follow. Hotch ignored him and limped over to JJ, passing her the supplies,

“Have Prentiss help you” after getting a nod from JJ, he looked at Garcia, “Are you alright?”

Garcia blinked a few times, “I think I- I think I might have a concussion”

“I’ve got you Baby Girl” Morgan stepped over some of the ruble to take her hand and guide her to the relatively clear spot next to Reid. 

Hotch shuffled to Rossi and sat down, “Have you found the injury yet?”

Rossi sighed as he ran his hands through Reid’s hair, “No, help me turn him over?”

The two positioned themselves on either side of the young man, Rossi rolled him carefully towards Hotch, who pulled him onto his stomach. Hotch closed his eyes when he saw the young mans back, Rossi wiped a hand down his goatee,

“What are we supposed to do with that?” 

‘That’ being a large piece of drywall, lodged edge wise into Reid’s side.

Morgan joined them, his eyes stayed glued to Reid as he passed Hotch the medical kit, “Your uh, your foot” he pulled his knees up and dropped his head between them, “Awe man”

“Does anyone have a phone?” Prentiss said, leading JJ and Garcia to the rest of them, “Mine broke”

JJ nodded, “And mine” her voice was rough, Emily winced and sat her down.

“I was in such a hurry, I left mine in my office” Garcia sunk down next to Morgan, “The one time I don’t have my phone…”

Morgan checked his phone clip, pulling out his own phone. He sighed, “Dead”

Hotch held his up, “Mine is damaged, but it will work”

“Same here” Rossi echoed.

“What about you Spence?” JJ whispered.

Emily hushed her and rubbed her back, “He’s unconscious JJ”

JJ leaned into her shoulder, “Oh”

“She didn’t have oxygen for too long, it’s starting to get to her” Prentiss explained, “We really need to get out”

Suddenly, the floor beneath them rocked and the few lights left on flickered between red and yellow.

Garcia looked around, “Electrical failure. The only way it could be flickering like that all the way up here is if the main electrical room was damaged”

“It couldn’t just be from the blast?” Morgan asked, also looking at the lights.

“No,” Garcia pointed to one of them, “The flickering doesn’t match wires crossing, the software is damaged”

“Great” Prentiss shook her head, “If the floors below were damaged, there's no way we can just take the stairs”

JJ looked up, “Footsteps”

On her other side, Rossi rubbed her arm, “It’s nothing kiddo”

“No, listen!” JJ closed her eyes.

The others fell silent and sure enough, above them, they could hear footsteps.

“The other floors! There are people up there!” Garcia gasped.

Morgan looked to Hotch, “The floors are enforced, how in the hell would we be able to hear footsteps?”

Hotch stood, “If the bomb blew through the upper floors, we might be able to hear echoes”

“I’m going to go check it out” Morgan said, already on his way to the door.

“I’m coming with you” Hotch said as he followed. Morgan spun,

“No way man, your foot”

“Prentiss and Dave need to stay here, if something happens they are the only ones uninjured enough to get Reid and JJ out” Hotch argued, “So that leaves Garcia or me”

Morgan groaned, “Fine”

Hotch passed his phone to Garcia, “Try and contact someone, 911, Strauss, Anderson, anyone”

Garcia took it and nodded, “Yes sir”

He followed Morgan out the empty doorway and into the hall, near the window, two large holes gaped, one in the ceiling, one in the floor.

The two stepped close to them, Morgan looked up, “Hello?”

A soft crashing noise came from above them, something collapsing far away. Morgan stumbled in surprise, if it hadn’t been for Hotch’s hand on his arm, he would’ve fallen to the floor below. Morgan looked down, “It’s all rubble, I bet I could step down from here”

“And go where? We have no idea what the lower floors look like” Hotch looked back the other direction, “There’s an emergency stairwell past Garcia’s office, it may not be as damaged down there”

Morgan nodded, “Okay, I’ll let Rossi know-” he was cut off by another crash, closer this time. Above them, the ceiling began to crumble, spraying them with paint and bits of drywall. Before Hotch could even tell Morgan to run, it broke completely.

Morgan grabbed his arm and pulled him down, the two fell to the floor below.


	11. The Seperation

Morgan woke up sweating. He tried to focus on his surroundings, where he was, what had happened. Yet the only thing his brain seemed to focus on was that he was hot.

_“It’s crazy! I mean, everyone knows that you can sense danger but what we didn’t know is that your brain alerts you in subtle ways through memory or sensations, like a subconscious watchdog”_

Reid’s voice echoed and Morgan took a breath. If his brain was trying to warn him, all it was saying was that the air conditioner had blown during the explosion.

Morgan opened his eyes and snapped his head around.

Explosion.

Heat.

Fire.

He came to the realization just as a searing pain hit his calf. He yelled and tried to pull away, but he was stuck,

“Hey! Someone! I need help!” Smoke filled his lungs and he coughed and shut his mouth. Looking down at his leg, he could see a beam lying over it, pinning him down.

 _“Okay Derek, cool down”_ Penelope’s voice this time, along with her adorable laugh at her stupid pun. Morgan began to wonder exactly how much smoke he’d inhaled.

 _“Find a vantage point, one of your legs is still free”_ He groaned, even Morgan’s version of JJ in his head was more sensible than he was.

He looked up again, trying desperately to ignore the fire getting closer to him, already heating up his calf painfully. He moved his free foot under the beam and pushed, it started to move but fell on his shin. He cried out again.

Prentiss’ voice was calm, _“Try again. The minute you give up, you’re dead”_

Morgan chuckled, it came off as more of a whine, “Thanks Emily”

He did try again, four times before his head fell back again and the coughing came along with it.

 _“Do not give in”_ Rossi’s voice warned.

“What is this?” He shook his head, “I’m goin’ crazy. I’m gonna die hearing voices”

 _“You aren’t crazy”_ Even though the voice was in his head, Morgan still jumped. Hotch’s voice was so close he could’ve been whispering in his ear, _“Like you thought before, It’s the smoke. When you get out of this, ask Reid about it”_

Reid.

Morgan pushed himself up and his elbows, he had to get out of this and go help the team. If he didn’t, Reid would die, then JJ. They were too injured to make it until firefighters got into the building.

He wouldn’t let that happen. He wouldn’t let JJ’s son grow up knowing his parent died on duty, not like Morgan had. He wouldn’t let Reid die before his life really began, he was young, he had everything left.

He felt a hot breath in his ear and the ghost of soft lips brushing it as JJ’s kind, tired voice whispered, _“Then get up”_

With a loud grunt and another yelp of pain, he forced his foot out from under the beam, tearing scratches and deep cuts down the side.

Shakily, he stood.

********

A loud crash echoed through the battered Bullpen, Prentiss looked up from where she was cleaning out JJ’s head wound, “What was that?”

Rossi stood, “I don’t know…”

A yell, sounding very similar to Hotch’s voice was the next sound that made its way to the teams ears. Rossi’s expression darkened, “I’ll be right back”

“I’m going with you!” Prentiss said, handing the alcohol swab off to Garcia.

Rossi shook his head but didn’t look at her, “Someone needs to stay here”

“I can” Garcia offered, “If they’re in trouble, you need to help them!”

“I will” Rossi smiled at her reassuringly before turning his attention to Prentiss, “Alone”

Prentiss scoffed, “Like hell!” she stalked past him, “I’m going”

Rossi looked at Garcia for support, she looked over her bent glasses at him, “I don’t think you have a choice”

Rossi sighed and followed her.

“Be safe!” Garcia called, wincing when the volume made her headache worsen.

Rossi threw a smile over his shoulder, “You too Kitten”

He hadn’t made it very far when he just about ran into Prentiss, she turned with wide eyes before rushing forward again, faster this time. Rossi looked across from them at the thing that made Prentiss stop so suddenly. The floor near the window had collapsed, the debris ripping up the wall, leaving a gaping hole in the side of the BAU.

Prentiss stepped carefully across the rubble, “Hotch! Morgan!”

“Here!” Someone grunted, Rossi moved towards the voice, shouting to Prentiss when he spotted Hotch, back buried in concrete, his legs dangling dangerously out the side of the building. Prentiss rushed to meet him and the two started to move the concrete off of their team leader.

“Careful, we don’t know how stable it is” Rossi warned. Prentiss glared but slowed her pace.

Finally, after what felt like hours, they each grabbed one of Hotch’s arms and pulled him up. He collapsed almost on top of Rossi and Prentiss, the three sat panting, not caring or not noticing how close they were.

Suddenly, Hotch scrambled up, Rossi had to latch onto his arm to keep him from falling to his death. Hotch paid no mind, “Morgan!”

He limped across, his face showing how much pain he was in even if his body was ignoring it.

Rossi moved to stand next to him, cautiously taking his elbow. He let him, but kept moving,

“Morgan!”

Prentiss looked at Rossi worriedly before licking her chapped lips and yelling, “Derek!” She slowly shuffled over debris to the hole in the floor, heat radiated up from it. She knelt carefully, “Morgan! Are you down there?”

Coughing came instead of a reply. Prentiss looked back at Rossi and Hotch, debating on whether she should tell them. She decided against it, Hotch would just insist on going down with her.

With one more glance at the two men she jumped down and was immediately hit with a blast of hot air and a wall of smoke.

********

Garcia snapped her head towards Reid as he sputtered. She gently put her hands under him and leaned him forward, as his normal-ish breathing returned, his eyes fluttered open, “...Garcia?”

Garcia laughed as tears filled her eyes, “Yes! Yes it’s me, I’m right here little man, right here” she rubbed his back as he smacked his lips,

“Everyone… else?”

Garcia looked at JJ sitting next to her, her head was in her hand and her breathing was ragged. She looked out the door at the seemingly empty hallway,

“They’re fine” she lied through her teeth, “See, JJ’s right here” she lifted one of JJ’s hands and put it over Reid’s, as if on instinct, the two linked hands.

“Okay, we’re okay. Hotch and Rossi and Emily and Derek are getting help, they’ll be back soon”

As if she had jinxed it, a loud sound above them made her wince and put a hand to her throbbing head.

“You know what? We’re gonna go for a little walk” she tried to keep the light tone in her voice as she helped JJ and Reid up. She was unexpectedly grateful to the Bureau for forcing her to take monthly fitness exams as both Reid and JJ put almost all of their weight on her.

Another noise boomed above them, like something falling. Garcia picked up her pace as best she could.

“Are we leaving Pen?” JJ asked slowly.

“Oh honey, I wish we were. Soon okay? Right now we’re just going to go chill out in the conference room” she replied.

JJ shook her head, “Really? A new case in a time like this”

Garcia set her jaw and blinked back the tears, “They do love to overwork us” she grunted as she opened the conference room door. Just as she shut it, the noise got ten times louder, Garcia sunk to the ground with her burden as she covered her ears.

When she looked up again, the Bullpen was filled with rubble, Garcia choked on a sob as she spotted a few bodies, no doubt agents from upstairs who had fallen to their deaths when the ceiling fell. Her shoulders shook as she realized they were trapped.

“Penelope, what’s wrong?” Reid said, attempting to sit up.

Garcia pushed him back down and hushed the both of them, “Nothing my sweets, everything's a-okay”

She couldn’t keep her voice from breaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, only a few chapters left. I have a vague idea of how I want the ending to go, if ya'll have any requests or suggestions, comment and I will see what I can do! Thanks for reading Love-bugs. It makes my day.


	12. The Hope

Rossi wasn’t sure if it was Hotch or himself who yelled when the bullpen’s ceiling fell in. 

 

What he did know was that he was standing and Hotch wasn’t.

 

“Aaron?” He knelt next to his friend.

 

Hotch looked past him into the demolished bullpen, his adams apple bobbed up and down a few times before he spoke, “Are they-?”

 

He didn’t finish, Rossi hadn’t expected him to, “I don’t know. Garcia’s smart, she could’ve gotten them to safety”

 

“JJ was half coherent and barely breathing, Reid was unconscious, even if she knew what was coming there’s no way she could’ve carried both of them” 

 

“Stop” Rossi put his hands on Hotch’s shoulders, resisting the urge to shake him considering they had no idea what state he was in, “Stop saying ‘was’. We have to believe they’re okay”

 

Slowly, he watched Hotch take in his words and see the wisdom in them, he nodded, “Is Prentiss okay?”

 

Rossi looked up to ask her when he stopped. He couldn’t see her. He stood and looked around, even venturing into part of the rubble surrounding the bullpen door, “Emily?”

 

“Dave” Hotch’s voice called him back, his eyebrows were lowered in their usual glare but something in his eyes told Rossi just how panicked he was.

 

“She probably just wandered off” Rossi tried to reassure both of them.

 

“No” Hotch pushed himself up, “She wouldn’t have, not now”

 

Rossi put his hands back on Hotch’s shoulders, “You can’t get up Hotch, you’re hurt!”

 

“So are you” Hotch pushed him off, wincing as he stepped over a piece of concrete.

 

“Getting pinned under a desk doesn’t really compare to getting pinned under a pile of concrete and drywall Hotch” He spat, patience running thin.

 

“I have to find her” Hotch said, eyes pleading, “I made the call to separate, I lost Morgan and possibly let JJ, Reid and Garcia-” he couldn’t finish, “If I don’t find Emily…”

 

Deciding that today was bad enough without driving his boss and best friend to tears Rossi nodded, “Okay, but we go slow. And we stay together”

 

Hotch nodded and only grumbled mildly when Rossi took his elbow again. With a lot of patience on Rossi’s part and a lot of stumbling on Hotch’s, they made it back to the gaping hole in the floor. 

 

While looking down, Rossi tried to think of something clever to say, maybe about Roger Rabbit or Loony Toons, but found he couldn’t bring himself to speak, almost as if, all of a sudden, the weight of what had happened crashed down on him.

 

The only people he was sure were alive were himself and Hotch.    
  


Distantly, he could hear Hotch talking but nothing registered.

 

JJ, Reid and Garcia, easily the most innocent and babied members of the team, could very well be buried under a pile of rubble. Too young, too smart, too kind, too damn  _ good  _ to go down like this.

 

Hotch moved his elbow out of Rossi’s grip, switching his position to gripping one of Rossi’s shoulders. Again, the weathered profiler paid no mind.

 

Morgan was nowhere to be found. Sure he was strong but they couldn’t always rely on that. He realized they did far too often. He might never get to apologize.

 

Briefly, he noticed he was being shaken.

 

Emily. Emily who had never backed down from someone challenging her worth, Emily who valued chocolate as an essential life source, Emily who made the team feel safe somehow, Emily who could be stuck somewhere, hurt and scared.

 

“-ave!

 

Rossi looked at Hotch and was more surprised than embarrassed that his vision was blurry and wet.

 

Hotch looked at him, worried, “Are you alright?”

 

He wanted to lie, after all, Hotch was the one hurt and bleeding and still acting like he was okay. Yet he also knew that a lie would just make Aaron worry more, “We have to find them” he wasn’t all that proud of the fact that his voice broke halfway. 

 

To his credit, Hotch didn’t say anything, just nodded in understanding and turned back to the hole, “Morgan has to be down there, maybe Prentiss followed”

 

That seemed like something she would do. Rossi closed his lips in a firm line and bent down, preparing himself for what he was scared they may find.

 

********

 

More than anything in the world right now, Penelope wanted to be at home. Surrounded by colorful decorations and the lingering smell of fresh made tea. She closed her eyes and imagined it for a moment, a sense of calm sweeping over her as she thought about her homely kitchen and the pictures on the living room mantel.

 

JJ’s cough pulled her out of the daydream and back to reality, the horrible, terrifying and lonely reality.

 

Because it was lonely.

 

JJ was in pain every time she spoke, that didn’t stop her from trying, but Garcia had convinced her to keep quiet not long ago. Reid was in and out of consciousness, how she had managed to get him into the conference room, she had no idea. So, no one to talk to, no one to comfort her and tell her everything would be okay. Lonely.

 

She was worried about her team, about Morgan, but more than anything, she was worried about the three of them. Garcia may have made an effort to ignore the actual details of her job to the point that she could be seen as oblivious, but she was far from stupid.

 

Garcia knew that even if firefighters deemed the building safe to enter, there was no way they could get through the bullpen and to her without a lot of help and a lot of help meant a lot of weight on the already unsteady floors. So if not for some miracle, they would die of thirst in two more days.

 

Two days? Garcia moved to take out Hotch’s dying cell phone and checked the date, yes, it had been two days stuck in this living hell.

 

Not living for much longer, she told herself, which didn’t help the panic that had been steadily growing in her chest since the bomb went off.

 

More out of boredom and desperation than hope, Garcia dialled 911 again and held the phone to her ear, it didn’t even ring. She should’ve know, the Unsub didn’t want them to ‘rest’ he wanted them to suffer, that was the only reason he would put a cell phone blocker somewhere on the floor.

 

“That bastard!” She shouted abruptly, startling a half asleep JJ. Garcia bit back a full on breakdown and smiled at her friend, “Sorry Jaje, I didn’t mean to wake you”

 

JJ sat up slowly and moved to sit next to Garcia, she glanced at Reid, currently out cold on Garcia’s lap, “You have to go”

 

Garcia visibly jumped at JJ’s sudden instruction, “JJ, why would you say that? I can’t leave you”

 

“There’s a good chance that Hotch and the others have already found a way out” JJ’s eyes were stern, as if expecting her to understand.

 

Garcia didn’t. She wasn’t a profiler, she was scared, and she was still shocked at JJ’s out of the blue moment of clarity, “Exactly, so we just have to wait here for them to find us”

 

JJ shook her head with slow long movements, her lip quivered, “It won’t work Garcia, you and I both know that”

 

“What are you saying?” Garcia had guessed, she just didn’t want to believe it.

 

“I’m saying you have to  _ go _ ” JJ was crying now, large round droplets clearing tracks down her dusty face,

 

“Me and Reid aren’t making it out of here” as if to emphasis her point, JJ coughed, the fit soon turning into hacking and long scary shudders until it stopped and JJ’s shoulders heaved as her lungs tried to regain the lost air, “I’m so sorry Penelope, but you have to save yourself” 

 

“No, no way” Garcia grabbed JJ’s hand, “We are getting out of here, all of us, alive, you hear me?”

 

JJ lowered her brows in confusion, “Why wouldn’t I be able to hear you?” realization dawned on her face, “You should really be asking Hotch that, I don’t know how his ears are doing”

 

Garcia looked at her in horror, trying to wrap her head around just how bad JJ had been hurt. She guessed they both had a concussion, with JJ, it was the lack of oxygen she was worried about.

 

JJ looked past Garcia and into the bullpen, her eyes went wide, “Garcia what happened? Where is everyone?”

 

“The ceiling fell JJ” Garcia almost whispered.

 

To her surprise, JJ began to cry harder, “No no no”

 

“Hey…” Garcia soothed, rubbing the young woman’s arm, “It’s okay sweetie”

 

JJ shook her head, hard enough to make both of them wince, “Who’s going to fix it?”

 

That was a good question that Garcia still didn’t have the answer to.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

Garcia looked down at Reid and brushed his hair out of his face, almost pulling back when she touched his cold skin. Before she could reply, JJ sunk down to lay next him over her lap, she looked at him with wide teary eyes, 

 

“The sky fell”

 

If there really was a god, Penelope prayed to them now. Briefly she wondered if JJ was right, if the sky along with the heavens and the stars had fallen and crashed into the BAU, leaving them grounded and utterly alone.

 

********

 

“Morgan!” Emily yelled again, the smoke making  her voice go hoarse as she made a futile attempt to cover her mouth with her shirt.

 

Above her, something crashed, she instinctively ducked to the ground and covered her head. Some bits of the ceiling showered down on her and settled on her hair. She shook off like a wet dog and forced herself to keep going. If something had happened on the seventh floor, Rossi would figure it out.

 

She stopped when she realized Hotch’s name hadn’t even come to mind. Didn’t it make sense though? In reality, Rossi and herself were the only members of the team not fatally injured. She desperately hoped it would stay that way.   

 

A cry ahead of her snapped her out of her thoughts and she ran towards it, probably too quickly considering how damaged the building was. It killed her back too, an injury she’d chosen to ignore considering it was a stubbed toe compared to her teammates.

 

She knew that either Morgan or Hotch would chew her out when they got out of this, she didn’t mind. In fact, she’d give anything to have them mad at her instead of… whatever they were now.

 

She tripped on a large beam as she ran, falling basically on top of an almost unconscious Derek Morgan. Despite how he looked, she laughed.

 

Morgan managed a smile, “Look who decided to drop in”

 

“I was in the neighborhood” Emily replied, rolling to the side, “Are you pinned?”

 

“I was” Morgan gestured to a very scuffed up leg, “Now I have a different problem”

 

Emily stood and offered him her hand, “Looks like your savior has arrived”

 

Morgan groaned as he stood, putting half his weight on his good leg, the other half on Emily’s shoulders as she guided his arm over them, “This whole ordeal is turning us into Garcia”

 

“And that’s the good news” Emily said with a grunt.

 

Morgan did the best he could to get them over the rubble, Prentiss still did most of the work. She willed herself on with the thought that she could hold this over Derek’s head for months.

 

“How are the others? Reid and JJ?”

 

Emily looked down, “They were fine last I saw- well, fine as in not dead” Neither of them laughed. She hadn’t meant it as a joke.

 

“Garcia has stepped up though,” Emily smiled as softly as she could through the grimace, “You’d be proud”

 

“I already am” Morgan replied off hand, his attention obviously elsewhere, “Emily” he warned.

 

She looked behind them and nodded, not saying anything, just picking up her pace. She could feel the heat the second she’d jumped down, it was almost unbearable where she’d found Morgan, where they were now wasn’t much better. The flames were gaining on them and Emily had the odd sensation of feeling like a Pac Man cherry, hiding from the inevitable.

 

She’d admit, not the best analogy, but the smoke had probably gone to her head by now and she decided to take the fact that she could recall what Pac Man even was as a good sign.

 

Morgan tripped and Emily tried to steady him, but his shift in weight sent sparks of pain through her back and she fell with him.

 

“Emily, my leg- I can’t get up again” Morgan said, obviously trying to tell her to go on without him.

 

“Nice try Derek, there’s no way I’m leaving” Emily choked on the air filled smoke as it forced its way into  her lungs.

 

Morgan took a fistful of her shirt collar and pulled her close to him, “I’m not going anywhere”

 

“Bull” Emily paused to cough again, “Shit”

 

Morgan attempted to sit up, still holding onto Emily like a lifeline, “I’m not having this conversation with you!”

 

“Good!” Emily shouted back. Morgan’s angry expression seemed to melt and he pulled her into him, choking on either smoke or a sob, 

 

“Please”

 

Emily hugged him back and didn’t reply as he slipped out of consciousness, she didn’t let go even after his limbs went slack and his breathing began to fade.

 

Tears stung her eyes and she didn’t even try to blame them on the smoke, “Derek?”

 

He didn’t reply and she pulled him in tighter, her back resisting the movement, “Derek?” she couldn’t bring herself to say anything else.

 

“Ma’am? We’re here to get you to safety” a voice behind her said calmly. Emily turned and let out a very childlike shriek at the sight of a tall yellow and black clad figure. The figure seemed to expect the reaction, because it knelt next to her,

 

“My name is Jacob, the smoke is making you delirious, I need to get you out” it- Jacob- explained, overly calm for the situation.

 

It took Emily a little while to understand, when she did, she shoved Morgan towards him, “Him first”

 

“Ma’am, the gurney is on it’s way but-”

 

“I’m not leaving him!” Emily sobbed. Jacob sighed but nodded, 

 

“I think I can carry him, but I need you to step aside”

 

Emily did as she was told, watching with stinging eyes as Jacob lifted Morgan onto his back. She began to follow when she heard Hotch’s unmistakable voice yell Rossi’s name. 

 

Without thinking, she took off running, Jacob’s desperate shouts fading behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, no one kill me. I know this is sort of repetitive of the last chapter but I'm kind of having writers block and I had to get this out before I clawed by brains out. Anyway, I hope you liked it despite that and thank you for reading and especially commenting, it makes my day really good. Until next time Love-Bugs!


	13. The Determined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to dedicate this chapter to all of you, your comments and kudos and bookmarks mean the absolute world to me.

Garcia knew that she really should stop crying. She was dehydrated enough without losing more water, but JJ wasn’t making sense, Reid had lost too much blood and Garcia was terrified. More terrified than when she had been shot, more terrified when Derek almost blew up, as painful as it was to admit, the only thing that could possibly outdo how terrified she felt now was the moment right after she’d been told her parents died, before the grief had set in. 

 

Besides the fear, this just wasn’t right. Jennifer Jareau was one of the strongest women she’d ever met and here she was, whimpering on her lap and babbling on about cases ‘they needed to solve’. 

 

Reid, on the other hand, just lay there. Garcia was very sadly used to seeing him hurt, they all were. But it was one thing watching him on a screen knowing she couldn’t do anything and a whole different thing holding him close to her and knowing she couldn’t do anything.

 

She looked around at the once safe conference room and realized that if they died in here, the others would never be able to walk in with a smile ever again. She didn’t want to imagine their faces if they found the three of them, lying in a pile, clinging to each other, she did though, she imagined the tears in their eyes and the guilt in their minds.

 

Derek would never recover from losing his best friends, never recover from seeing the dead body of his little brother in everything but blood, from seeing JJ’s kind face twisted with pain and fear, from losing- from losing his Baby Girl.

 

Emily would blame herself for leaving them alone with no back up, she wouldn’t let anyone tell her otherwise, she would carry it forever, a permanent hollowness in her eyes. 

 

Dave would probably retire for good and sink into a secluded corner of the world, torn with guilt. He’d become Gideon, she realized with a wince.

 

And Hotch… she didn’t want to think about their leader and the reports he’d be forced to fill out, the hearings he’d be subjected to. He was in enough pain already, losing them would send him over the edge, he might never smile again.

 

Garcia couldn’t let that happen.

 

Slowly, she lifted JJ’s head off her lap, then Reid’s. She made sure to pull of her purple scarf -now looking a more gray brown color- and drape it over them, she knew it wouldn’t stop the shivering, it would at least comfort them. Hopefully.

 

She stepped carefully over to the back exit of the conference room and opened the door, stepping far out of the way as loose wires ripped from the ceiling in the blast flipped towards her like snakes. Garcia looked down the hall, setting her eyes on the conveniently placed breaker box and began to feel not unlike Indiana Jones.

 

With stumbling movements, she made it to the beige couch in the corner of the room and pushed it into the doorway. She flipped it to it’s side and pushed it as far into the hall as she could without burning herself. The couch became an odd cramped tunnel, Garcia dusted off her hands.

 

The wires hanging began to convulse, like they new something had intruded. The stray sparks left burn marks on the couch, Garcia winced, “I never liked that couch anyway”

 

She sunk down to her hands and knees and started to crawl, she closed her eyes when she pushed under the couch, “This is a bad idea” she forced herself to crawl further, “This is a very, very, super bad idea”

 

A large electrical hiss made her jump and stop, “Keep going Penny, you’ve got this” her shoulders shook and didn’t respond, “Alright, listen up, Reid and JJ need you”

 

Her eyes filled with tears again and she gritted her teeth, “Go Garcia! Madonna is waiting at the end of the hall, Rihanna, every member of Toto, seven cats, a million dollars” it didn’t work, the shaking got worse, so did the hissing,

 

“Derek is counting on you!” 

 

Somehow, the mention of his name shocked her back into reality, she crawled faster as the fear got worse. When she made it to the end of the couch she didn’t stop, just held her breath and moved forward. She wasn’t looking ahead of her when the end of the hall approached and she smacked into, knocking her glasses off her face. She moved her hands carefully across the carpet, now she was feeling more like Velma.

 

Something crunched under her knee and she groaned, “Great, the oldest cliche in the book” she lifted her knee up and picked up her glasses, both of the lenses were cracked and the frame was bent.

 

“Oh good, it’s not like I needed you to see the itty bitty wires in the breaker box my dignity and me almost died crawling to” She said to them before chucking them aside. She stood and opened the breaker box, it sparked as she did and Garcia jumped back, nearly tripping into the loose wires. She glared down at her heels and thought about taking them off,

 

“Pros: I won’t trip as easy, I can run faster, I might even be able to keep them in repairable shape” she told herself, finding that talking out loud made the fear easier to bare, “Cons: I could step on glass or drywall or concrete and scrape up my feet” she paused and looked back at the sparking breaker, a sudden idea hitting her, “Although…”

 

She pulled off her shoes and held one tightly in her hand, heel out, and threw it at the open breaker.

 

It hit it and fell to the floor, the breaker stopped sparking for a few seconds, then started back up, Garcia brandished her other heel, “This is going against everything I have ever stood for as a techy and a fashionista.” she launched it at the breaker.

 

Garcia repeated the motion thirty one times -she counted- until it finally stopped sparking. She sighed and shook out her arms. Stepping back up to the breaker she assessed the damage, deciding it was probably safe she reached up and pulled the front panel off, this made two things happen:

 

1: The loose wires lost all their juice.

 

2: Garcia had guessed wrong, it was not safe, and the result left her sitting on the floor with stinging hands, a worse headache then she had before, and blurry vision. 

 

She sat on the ground for a long time. The ringing in her head subsided slightly and she looked down at her hands. Her fingers and bits of her palms were blistered and red. 

 

The dark hall turning past the breaker taunted her, dimensions out of proportion and a sound like laughing blowing in her ears, “I can’t give up” she told it, “If I give up, we’ll die”

 

Darkness surrounded her and she blinked, “I said I’m not giving up”

 

Another laugh brushed past her ear. She forced herself to stand, despite the protesting in her aching legs. She stumbled back towards the conference room, stepping around the couch. A moment of panic hit her when she saw her two unconscious friends. How in the world was she supposed to get them out?

 

Her answer came as she sat down in defeat. She moved her feet forward, the chair moved with her, “Wheels…”

 

She stood again and hooked her elbows under JJ’s arms, Garcia lifted her into the black desk chair. She slouched in it, and stirred.

 

Garcia turned to Reid next, making sure to be careful of his injury as she pulled him onto JJ’s lap, “Sorry for the inconvenience doves, I can only push one chair” 

 

With a nod like they’d heard her, Garcia pulled the couch back into the room, biting back a cry as the fabric rubbed against her torn hands.

 

Careful not to tip them off, Garcia pushed JJ and Reid out the door and down the hall, ducking under the docile but still hot wires. She made it to the end of the hall and at the closed door before her adrenaline ran out and the after effects of being electrocuted hit her. Garcia fell to the floor, eyes closing.

 

The last thing she registered was the doorknob turning from the outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as long as the others, but I thought Penelope deserved her own chapter. The next one should be the last chapter where they're stuck in the BAU, unless the story runs away from me, which happens quite often. Thanks for reading Love-Bugs!


	14. The Leaving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I gave Hotch's inner monologue justice, also, Jacob and Chris will probably show up one more time but they aren't going to take over at all. 
> 
> Side note: I didn't realize until I wrote this that the BAU only has seven floors, I guess I just decided it was ten for some reason. Oops, AU where the BAU has ten floors instead of seven (should I put that in the tags?).

They hadn’t made it far when the beam fell.

 

It happened fast, too fast for Hotch to react, to move, anything.

 

Yet somehow, Rossi was there, shoving him aside at the last second.

 

“Dave!” Hotch yelled as he turned, pain making him unable to do anything but. He couldn’t see him, he could barely see anything through the dust and smoke.

 

Frantically, he moved to the beam and pulled, his back shook and crippled, making him fall, so he kicked at it instead. He looked up when Prentiss appeared next to him, a scared look on her face that went further then what was happening at that moment.

 

“Where is he?” She asked, barely loud enough to be heard. He gestured at the beam, knowing if he spoke, he’d break, and he couldn’t break, not now.

 

To her credit, she understood immediately and crawled under the beam as far as she could get, pushing upwards with her whole body. Hotch noticed a shaking in her spine and carded it away to ask her about later.

 

Hotch realized Prentiss didn’t seem to be getting anywhere and moved closer to her. He pushed himself up next to her and copied her movements, the beam shifted and someone groaned. Emily looked at him and he looked back, both of them coming to the same conclusion at once. They pushed again, nudging the beam a bit more, this time, Rossi swore.

 

Footsteps behind them made Hotch turn, the beam tilted and put more weight on Emily. Before he could move back to help her, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him up, very close to turning and throwing a punch, Hotch tenced. A man stepped out in front of him, 

 

“My name’s Jacob, we’re here to help”

 

Hotch shook his head, “SSA Rossi is pinned under that beam, I need to-”

 

“You need to get out of here” the man holding him up cut in, “We’ll get him and your agent out safe”

 

Hotch pulled his arms forward, out of the unnamed man’s grip, “I’m not leaving until I know they’re okay” 

 

Already at Emily’s side, Jacob sighed, “Leave him Chris, come help me”

 

Chris moved next to Jacob, Hotch looked around, “Where is everyone else?”   
  


“The floors where too unstable, we could only send four in, two for you,” He grunted as he pushed the beam up with Chris, “Two for your other three agents”

 

Relief washed over Hotch at the confirmation that, at the very least, they were alive, “The other floors?”

 

Chris huffed as he pulled Emily out of the rubble, her eyes were distant, “We managed to get a ‘copter up there to pull out the survivors”

 

Hotch stopped asking questions when Emily was basically handed to him, she seemed to have regained some of her strength and she shifted to support Hotch’s weight instead. Her eyes were still staring blankly ahead of them.

 

They watched as the beam was pushed aside and a coughing, barely awake David Rossi was pulled out. Jacob spoke to him softly as Chris pulled a gurney towards them that Hotch hadn’t seen before. They lifted him onto it and Jacob looked back at Hotch and Emily,

 

“There isn’t exactly an easy way out, can the two of you follow without help?”

 

Emily moved her arm under Hotch’s shoulders and pulled his weight further onto herself, “I’ve got it.”

 

Hotch was too delirious to argue.

 

Jacob nodded and Chris and the two lifted the gurney, slowly making their way towards the sixth floors stairwell.

 

“Are you okay?” Hotch coughed out, Emily smiled painfully,

 

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?” She let out a shaky breath, smile fading, “Derek, he-”

 

Hotch cut her off, “Not until we’re out of this,” he watched Emily’s face as she nodded.

 

Jacob stopped at the stairwell and cursed, “The door’s jammed.”

 

“I told you we should’ve propped it open with something” Chris threw back with a pant.

 

With effort, Emily crouched and sat Hotch down, then stood, “I can get it.”

 

She said it casually, like someone had just asked her if she needed help with her groceries. Not giving Hotch or one of the firefighters time to argue she moved up next to the door and braced herself against it. Emily kicked out at the rubble blocking it and something snapped. The controlled look on Prentiss’ face told Hotch that it wasn’t just a piece of drywall. She ignored it and kicked again, this time the rubble dislodged and Emily opened the door wide enough to get the gurney through before limping back to Hotch.

 

The team leader furrowed his eyebrows, “Is your foot alright?”

 

“Again, shouldn’t I be the one asking you?” she replied. Hotch frowned at her crappy attempt to take attention off herself, she noticed his look and matched it, “Not until we’re out, right?”

 

Hotch nodded and put his focus into practically sliding down the stairs, at least, he tried to. Instead, his eyes wandered to Rossi laying on the gurney and Prentiss wincing next to him, doing a very bad job at masking her pain. Though he would never admit it, this wasn’t the first time he’d felt the sudden urge to pull every team member closest to him into a bone crushing hug, just to know that they were still there.

 

Except that the team expected that from Garcia, not him. And seeing how the only person close enough to hug at the moment was Prentiss, and he didn’t really see her as the ‘hug your boss’ type, he pushed the feeling down like always and told himself to wait. He’d no doubt get a hug from at least Penelope, maybe even JJ. He’d hold onto that for now, and for a few seconds, he forgot what state the team was in and the guilt faded enough to get down the first three floors.

 

The third floor was barely touched, you wouldn’t know a bomb went off in the same building unless you’d been told or seen it. More medics and firemen were there in an instant, putting both him and Prentiss onto a gurney as well, there was a moment of panic when he was out of sight of his two teammates, when Emily’s shaking arm left his shoulder. It faded when someone grabbed his hand. He blinked and tried to clear his head. It had to be a hallucination, his brain telling him to either fight or let go, why else would  _ Strauss  _ of all people, be holding his hand?

 

She didn’t smile, but her eyes showed concern and relief, “Aaron, are you alright?”

 

He couldn’t stop himself, his dried lips cracked a smile, “Fine, just taking a breather,”

 

Strauss let go of his hand and turned her attention to the medics carrying him to the apparently operational elevator, “He’s delirious.”

 

This time, Hotch almost laughed because, yes, he supposed he’d have to be pretty out of it to make a joke. 

 

“My team?” He asked, suddenly sober again.

 

One of the medics smiled down at him, “You just worry about yourself Agent Hotchner”

 

Next to them, Prentiss’ laugh rang out, “Obviously you haven’t spent much time with him,”

 

He wasn’t sure if she had really said it, or if he was even in the same elevator as her, but he smiled again at her words and let himself slip into unconsciousness.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all of you who didn't get enough sad, hurt, painful scenes with your favorite character, there are hospital scenes. Sad, hurt, painful hospital scenes.
> 
> As always, Love-Bugs, thanks for reading!


	15. The Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say how amazingly awesome you all are. The amount of comments and love I've gotten for this story is what motivates me to write it and I have been blessed by the universe with such great readers. You are loved and appreciated you beautiful people!

The first thing Reid said when he woke up was ‘watch out’. In fact, he’d yelled it. Probably scaring the nurse half to death. They’d almost sedated him, it didn’t help that he declined loudly. In his defense, his hearing had been muffled since he regained consciousness.

 

In the end, Prentiss came charging in, brace on her lower back, bandage on her shoulder, bruises on her face and badge in hand. She dismissed the nurses, only remembering to smile and thank them when they were already halfway out the door. She sat down slowly at the foot of Reid’s bed,

 

“How are you feeling?” 

 

Reid shrugged, “Okay considering...” he looked at his hands, “How long have I been here?”

 

“Almost four days, five if you count the day we got here,” Emily smiled, “You lost a lot of blood, they kept you sedated so your body would have time to heal after the surgery.”

 

Sudden panic in his chest made Reid clench, “Did they-”

 

“We told them no narcotics.” Emily assured him.

 

With a nod, Reid went back to examining his hands, “I’m sorry.”

 

Emily looked at him, eyes wide in concern and surprise, “What? Why?”

 

“The nurses told me some of what happened and- I wasn’t there to help you guys. I mean, I was there, physically, but I was dead weight. Plus, Garcia almost died because of me and-”

 

A sharp gasp from the doorway cut him off and the two agents looked up. Penelope stood just inside the room, her eyes were glossy as she shook her head, “No, no Spencer I didn’t, I’m fine, see?” she held up her hands to prove it but winced at the bandages,

 

“Okay, that was my own fault,” she continued to hold them out as she approached Reid and Prentiss, taking one of each of their hands, “What matters is we got through this.”

 

Reid looked around the room, confused on why, if they had all made it out, the others weren’t here as well. He licked his lips, “All of us?”

 

Prentiss and Garcia exchanged a look. After a few seconds, Emily stood, “Why don’t you come with us to see Hotch?”

 

The young agent looked down at his hospital gown, then at the I.V in his arm, “Uh, no offense guys but, should I really be moving?”

 

Prentiss opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again.

 

“You know what?” Garcia said, letting go of their hands, “You’re right, as usual, I’ll bring him in here.” she left quickly, soft slippers barely making a noise on the white tile. For probably the first time in her life, she was glad she wasn’t wearing heels.

 

She turned down a hall, shaking out her hands. She’d lied when she told the doctors it didn’t hurt like the dickens, but she had to get out of that cramped room to see her teammates.

 

Garcia made it to Hotch’s door and held up her hand to knock but stopped. The only person who’d gone to see him was Emily and although Penelope was no profiler, she could tell by the look on her friends face that it hadn’t gone well.

 

“Breath Penny, he needs you right now,” she took a deep breath, “The normal you.”

 

So she plastered on a smile and let the tears that she’d been holding back fill her eyes and knocked. A muffled ‘it’s open’ carried through the door and she opened it.

 

Hotch was sitting on the edge of his bed, dressed in clothes from his go bag -how he got his hands on it she wasn’t sure, maybe Emily?- and had a hand pressed to the cotton pad in one of his ears.

 

When he saw Garcia she could’ve sworn his face brightened just a little and he nodded at her hands, “Prentiss told me what happened, you were very brave Garcia.”

 

The tears in her eyes fell and she forgot the reason she’d come in the first place, “But I wasn’t sir! I was terrified! I didn’t know if JJ or Reid or any one of you were going to be okay, I thought- I thought I was going to die.”

 

Hotch nodded again and smiled the smallest of smiles, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act despite our fears.”

 

“John McCain,” Penelope answered with the same tone as a student answering a question in class.

 

“The firemen would never have found the three of you if you hadn’t cut the power in that hall. You saved Reid and JJ.”

 

“I did?”

 

Hotch’s smile grew into something that looked like he was almost proud, “You did.”

 

That’s when Penelope hugged him. She’d been trying to hold back since she walked in the room and she finally gave in. To her surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged back.

 

When she stepped back she gasped, not for the first time that day and most likely not the last, “Oh! I was supposed to come collect you!”

 

Hotch winced at her volume and she covered her mouth before whispering, “Reid’s awake.”

 

His eyebrows lowered and he picked up the crutches leaning against the bed. Penelope watched him, “Sir…”

 

“It’s just a broken ankle Penelope, it will heal.”

 

The tone of his voice and the way he called her by her first name both calmed her and worried her more. She paused for a few seconds, wondering how that was possible. By the time she’d snapped out of it, Hotch was at the open door, waiting patiently.

 

The two walked slowly down the hall, Penelope messed with the bandages on her hands, avoiding looking at her boss.

 

“How’s your head?” he started, staring ahead.

 

“Huh?” Garcia reached up to touch the bandage on her head lightly, “It’s okay. Derek was right about the concussion, but it’s not a bad one.” At the mention of Derek her eyes teared up again. She watched Hotch swallow out of the corner of her eye.

 

They came to the room where Reid was staying. The nurse at the door gave them the evil eye as they walked through, but didn’t say anything.

 

Inside, Reid’s face brightened considerably when they walked in. Emily smiled too, a hand on her sore foot. At Hotch’s stare, she shrugged, “I just broke a couple toes, it’s fine.”

 

Reid looked between the three of them, “Is anyone going to tell me about the others?”

 

Hotch sighed, “JJ has a severe brain injury, she’s having trouble remembering what happened,”

 

“When she’s conscious.” Garcia added, Emily rubbed her arm softly.

 

“They put her in a dark room, it took some convincing but we got them to let Will sit with her.” Emily finished.

 

“Rossi?” Reid asked next. Hotch ducked his head and sat down in a chair next to the hospital bed,

 

“Dave…” his voice faltered, “He broke his back, it- it isn’t good. He’s been in and out of surgery for the past five days.”

 

Reid stopped and took in the information, “Has anyone seen him?” his voice was small. Hotch nodded,

 

“I did. But he didn’t say anything before-” Hotch stopped.

 

Penelope looked pained, she hated seeing him like this, anyone of them like this, “He went into cardiac arrest. We haven’t been able to see him since.” Reid could tell that she was trying very hard not to cry.

 

Reid cleared his throat, “Morgan?”

 

Apparently losing the battle, Penelope choked out a sob. 

 

“What?” Reid could feel his chest tightening. Penelope shook her head and stood,

 

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t give an explanation, just left. Hotch paused to give Emily a look before following.

 

Prentiss turned back to Reid and took his hand, “Spencer,”

 

Reid’s heartbeat beat faster, “Emily, what’s going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hurt me. Hey look! Reid is back! Focus on that for now.


	16. The Guilt

Emily sat outside Reid’s door, pulling at her fingers and tapping her foot. 

 

The young genius hadn’t said anything since she told him about Morgan.

 

Her foot stopped moving. 

 

_ Morgan. _

 

It was her fault. She wasn’t fast enough. She wasn’t strong enough. She wasn’t enough.

 

Because of that, because of  _ her _ , he was-

 

She pushed her palms into her eyes, “No...” 

 

Her hands traveled up to her hair and began to pull, “No.”

 

A few strands of hair pulled free from her scalp as she yanked harder, “ _ No” _

 

Two large hands encircled her wrists and gently pulled them away, she looked up to see Hotch, kneeling in front of her. She shook her head,

 

“I should’ve-’

 

“Don’t,” Hotch stopped her before she could finish, “It is not your fault Prentiss.”

 

Emily took a shaky breath, her voice growing softer and higher as tears filled her eyes, “Do you know what he said to me? Before Jacob found us?”

 

Hotch closed his eyes as she continued, 

 

“He told me to leave, to save myself,” she swallowed, “I can still feel the smoke and the pain and his hand-” she moved one of her hands out of Hotch’s grip and gathered a fistful of her shirt, the same place Morgan had clutched onto,

 

“I don’t know what to do Hotch,” Her voice broke, “Give me something to do, an order, anything, because when I’m alone? All I can feel is his hand.”

 

Hotch watched her face as tears trickled down it. He squeezed her wrist once before letting go, “I think we could all use some coffee.”

 

She wiped her face and nodded, “Coffee, yeah. I can do that.”

 

He didn’t move from his position on the floor as she stood and walked down the hall, shaking her head and squaring her shoulders.

 

Hotch sighed and picked up his crutches, standing with a little effort. He looked down at his booted foot before closing his eyes.

 

“Agent Hotchner?”

 

He looked up to see a nurse in pale pink scrubs and nodded, “Yes?”

 

“I was told to inform you of any change in Agent Rossi’s condition,” At Hotch’s nod, she continued, “He’s out of surgery and stabilized. At the moment, he’s under heavy sedation but you could sit with him if you’d like.”

 

Hotch positioned himself to a more comfortable stance, “I would, yes.”

 

The nurse nodded, “Right this way.”

 

He followed her down the hall and around the corner, only six rooms down from Reid’s room. The nurse smiled as she opened the door for him, “Talk to him, try and keep it positive, we’ve found it often helps with trauma patients.”

 

_ Trauma patients. _ Hotch blinked as he realized that’s what they classified as now. He limped into the room, avoiding looking at Rossi until he was seated in the chair next to the bed.

 

Rossi was pale. An oxygen tube sticking out of his throat. The heart monitor beeped steadily. One of Ross’s hands trembled and Hotch took it,

 

“Hi Dave,” he sighed, “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to you, the doctor said to keep it positive but-”

 

He looked up at the white ceiling, “But right now I can’t really think of anything.”

 

In an attempt to take his mind off of what was happening and to follow the nurses instructions, he forced himself to smile, “Do you remember when I first joined the BAU?”

 

Flashbacks ensued and he shook his head, “I was so eager to please, to prove that I belonged, I would’ve been the perfect lap dog if I hadn’t been so stubborn. You know I was pretty similar to-”

 

To Morgan.

 

He cleared his throat, “Anyway, my first case, I had this outlandish theorie, everyone made fun of me. Everyone except you. You told me to go with it, to find the reason I thought of it in the first place. It took a while, and after a few dead ends I started to think that I was on a wild goose chase, wasting the Bureau’s time.”

 

He chuckled, “Then I found a break, I ended up being right about the whole thing. I was so relieved. After we got the guy you told me I’d done a good job and-”

 

Tears stung his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose, “And it meant the world Dave, for you to say that. I spent the rest of my career, even after you retired and ultimately, came back, doing my job in the way I thought you would see as ‘good’.”

 

The light blue blanket was speckled with darker spots as Hotch rested his chin on it, “Prentiss blames herself. Hell, so does Reid. I haven’t seen Garcia in three hours and JJ is still in the dark, literally. I know it was my fault and I know you’d yell at me for saying that, so wake up, wake up and tell me I’m being stupid Dave, please.”

 

He waited for what seemed like an eternity before nodding, “I know. I know.” he sighed, “I’ll fix it. When you wake up, everything is going to be fine.”

 

Hotch wiped his eyes as the door clicked and Emily walked into the room, three coffee’s in her hands, “I uh- I couldn’t find Garcia so, I have an extra.” she handed him his and stood still then turned.

 

“Thank you,” Hotch said. Emily stopped, her mouth twitched like it was deciding whether to smile or twist into a sob. It seemed to choose the former and she nodded,

 

“Anytime.” Slowly, she shuffled further into the room, taking the seat on the other side of Rossi. She watched him despairingly.

 

“The doctors say he’ll make a full recovery, it just takes time.”

 

Emily nodded, “Why wasn’t it me?”

 

“Prentiss…”

 

“No, Hotch, I would recover faster from a broken back, I’m younger and strong.”

 

Hotch looked down at Rossi, “Don’t let him hear you say that,”

 

Emily didn’t reply, she stared down at her untouched coffee. Hotch lowered his eyebrows, giving her a pointed look, “Finding someone to blame is a normal part of living through a trauma, survivor's guilt is a hard thing to get past.” he waited for her to interrupt and lowered his eyebrows further when she didn’t,

 

“If you want someone to blame, someone who’s alive, blame me.”

 

Her head snapped up, “Hotch! This isn’t your fault!”

 

“Maxwell bombed the BAU because of  _ me _ . Dave pushed  _ me  _ out of the way of the beam. Morgan was covering  _ me  _ when he fell to the sixth floor.”

 

The unit chief had expected anger or denial when he finished, not the hot tears that rolled down Emily’s cheeks,

 

“What happened to us? What Maxwell did? It’s going to stick with us forever. But you  _ can’t  _ sit there and tell me that what happened to Derek was your fault.” She put the coffee cup on the side table next to her, it was dented from her grip, “I was with him Hotch, I was right there and-”

 

She looked up and licked her lips, “He would want us to pick up the pieces, to stop acting like this is the end. It’s not the end, we got out” she stood and walked past Hotch, pausing to rest a hand on his shoulder,

 

“We got out.”

 

He listened as she opened the door and closed it behind her. He looked back at Rossi and jumped when his eyes were met with his friends brown ones.

 

Rossi choked and tapped the oxygen tube. Hotch scrambled to press the emergency button, then took Rossi’s hand again.

 

Rossi nodded at Hotch, and Hotch understood.

 

They’d fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! He's awake! Reid and JJ will be in the next part a lot more, I realize I've been sort of pushing them to the sideline. I'm not sure why, they're usually my favorite characters to write (Other than the goddess Penelope). Maybe it has something to do with the season fourteen finale? Anyway, I hope you liked it, please don't hate me with the whole Derek thing. <3


	17. The Fixing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm going to make an outlandish guess and say there are three more chapter after this one. Don't quote me on that, I am far from a reliable source. Anyways, enjoy!

Rossi stayed quiet while Hotch explained what had happened. He never interrupted, just watched Hotch’s expression.

 

When he’d finished, Rossi nodded slowly, “It wasn’t your fault.” his voice was hoarse, Hotch shook his head,

 

“All that and the first thing you have to say is I shouldn’t blame myself?”

 

“Considering your history of taking the blame for everything, I figured I might as well get it out of the way,” Rossi replied, his voice light.

 

Hotch rubbed a hand down his face but didn’t say anything. Rossi waved his hand at the door, “Go get the others.”

 

“I don’t think Reid is supposed to leave his room, Dave.” Hotch said back, avoiding what he knew had to happen eventually.

 

Rossi shrugged and started to sit up, “Well in that case, I’ll just go to him-”

 

“No,” Hotch stood on one foot and pushed his friend back down, “I’ll get them.”

 

In reply, Rossi just gave him a thumbs up. Hotch picked up his crutches and shot Rossi a glare on the way out.

 

When he had shut the door again, Rossi leaned back and took a shaky breath. He looked down at his trembling hands and slowly brought them up to his mouth.

 

For the first time, David Rossi doubted his team. 

 

After what they’d been through, how would they bounce back? This wasn’t just some hard case or an incident that affected one of them more than the others. They were all targeted, they were all victims.

 

He looked out the window at the gray DC sky and tried to picture what it would be like to go back to work. Because they would, go back to work. It was ingrained in their systems, a part of them he knew they would never really leave behind.

 

So they’d pass the evalves, they had written the questions after all. Then they’d go about pretending what happened didn’t faze them.

 

Bitterly, Rossi realized he was part of the ‘they’. He’d go on pretending with the rest of them until one of them snapped and all hell broke loose.

 

The door clicked softly and Rossi turned to see Emily gently helping Reid into a chair in the corner of the room. Reid smiled at him, “I’m glad you’re awake.”

 

Rossi nodded, “Me too kiddo.”

 

After helping Reid, Prentiss shuffled towards him, head bowed. Before she could get out an apology, Rossi held up a hand, “How’s the back?”

 

Emily scoffed and looked back at Reid, who shrugged. She sat down slowly, “It’s fine. Bruised, but fine,” she gestured at Rossi, “You?”

 

“I’ll heal,” He said. Not exactly the answer she was looking for, but it’d have to do for now.

 

The door clicked again and Hotch stepped through, followed by a reluctant Garcia. Her reluctance softened when she saw Rossi and she stepped up to him, but hesitated. Rossi held out his arms, inviting her to lean down and grip onto him. When she pulled back, the shoulder of his hospital gown was wet with moisture.

 

Rossi waited until everyone was seated to speak, “So,” no one picked up where he left off and he sighed, “We need to talk about it.”

 

Hotch nodded in agreement, but did nothing to start the conversation.

 

Someone knocked on the door and it opened for the upteenth time. JJ stepped inside, looking more exhausted than all of them combined.

 

“I thought you were on bed rest?” Emily asked softly, wary of JJ’s concussion.

 

JJ put a finger to her lips, “I convinced Will to go home and get some sleep, so don’t tell anyone.” she moved over to Rossi and took his hand, smiling softly.

 

Rossi pulled her gently so she was sitting on the bed next to him.

 

As if JJ’s presence inspired confidence into the young man, Reid cleared his throat, “What happens to the BAU?”

 

Rossi almost laughed, of course the first question to be asked would be about the building.

 

“Strauss says the foundations are still there, it’ll take time to rebuild, but they will.” Hotch answered, apparently having asked the same question earlier. The two were more alike than they’d admit.

 

JJ squeezed Rossi’s hand she was still holding, “Has anyone called Derek’s family?”

 

The already silent room seemed to grow even quieter. Finally, Hotch spoke, always the one with the answers,

 

“No. I hadn’t had the chance-” he cut himself off from telling the lie, “I’ve been putting it off.”

 

Garcia shook her head, “His poor mother,” her voice broke, “His poor family.”

 

Somehow, they all understood that she wasn’t just talking about his blood family.

 

“How long are we here before they let us go?” Reid asked, always the one to change the subject.

 

JJ tapped her head softly, “They’re bringing the discharge papers in the morning,”

 

“Garcia and I are free to go,” Emily said softly. Hotch nodded, a signal that his situation was the same.

 

Rossi looked down at his I.V, “Well, broken back and sore lungs, give me two days.”

 

That at least, got a few chuckles.

 

“As soon as my blood levels go back to normal, I can go.” Reid said quietly. Hotch watched him for a few seconds,

 

“What is it Reid?”

 

Reid shook his head, “I already told Emily but… I owe you all an apology.”

 

“Spence-” JJ started, Reid stopped her,

 

“If I hadn’t been unconscious I could’ve helped us get out of there sooner, maybe you all wouldn’t be so injured.”

 

Everyone in the room opened their mouths to argue, Garcia beat them all, “And maybe we would. Spencer, the only thing that kept me alive back there was the thought that you and JJ needed me, you have no idea-” her voice grew softer and higher, “I almost gave up in there, more than once.”

 

Emily, conveniently sitting in between Garcia and Reid, reached out to take one of each of their hands, “I have spent hours blaming myself for what happened, because maybe if I had just been faster, gotten to him sooner-” a deep breath, and she continued, “My point is, it doesn’t get us anywhere, and it won’t help us heal.”

 

JJ let out a breath, “I am going to have serious attachment issues when this is all over,”

 

Reid managed a laugh, “Get ready for three am phone calls,”

 

“Don’t forget out of the blue house visits,” Emily added with a small smile.

 

“And scarves,” Garcia whispered, “I’m going to knit you guys so many scarves.” 

 

Hotch looked at Rossi, a thin smile barely visible on his face. Rossi nodded back and winked.

 

“Do you think we should be with him?” Garcia asked softly. Smiles fell and JJ nodded, 

 

“I do.”

 

Hotch stood with his crutches, “I think I’ll go too.”

 

“I’ll stay with Rossi,” Emily said, obviously not believing her own line about not feeling guilty.

 

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Rossi mumbled as Garcia helped Reid to his feet.

 

JJ squeezed his hand one more time before letting go, and leaned down to whisper in his ear, “C’mon, you’re a profiler, what’s the real reason Emily’s staying?”

 

Rossi sighed, “I could use the company.”

 

Emily smiled in relief.

 

Hotch held the door open for the others, saying nothing when JJ closed her eyes to the bright lights, just guided her hand to his arm.

 

The odd group made their way through the halls and a growing sense of dread set over the team leader. Garcia opened the gray door for them, an arm still wrapped around Reid.

 

Inside, Hotch forced himself not to close his eyes as he led JJ to a chair.

 

“Do you think he’ll wake up?” Reid said quietly, sounding very similar to a scared child.

 

“He’s strong,” Garcia said with a sad smile, “There’s no way a stupid coma is going to stop him.”

 

JJ reached out and took Derek’s hand, “No way,” she repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look! JJ is back! Oh yeah and Derek! Seriously, no one hurt me. Much love my humans, thanks for reading and for the undying support!


	18. The Coma

Rossi didn’t like sitting around, you could blame his years in the FBI for that he supposed. He also didn’t like being told he would never walk again, he just didn’t have the time of day.

 

So, one week in, when his feet started to itch, he had the sudden urge to yell ‘I told you so’ at anyone in his general vicinity. He settled instead, on flipping off the hospital charts and pressing the call button for a nurse.

 

The nurse was flustered to say the least, but she still refused to let Rossi out of his hospital room, it took Hotch and a not too happy Strauss to convince the doctors to at least let him move about the hospital in a wheelchair.

 

Rossi saved as much dignity as he could by refusing to let anyone push him, he should’ve known Garcia would never let that happen. She’d already bought special grips for the wheelchair handles and dammit if he was going to turn her sore hands and puppy dog face down.

 

The fact that Reid refused to take narcotics caused some commotion, Hotch and Prentiss sorted it out before the poor kid had a panic attack. When the nurses found out about JJ’s secret excavations outside of her dark room, they’d almost kept her for another week. Again, Hotch to the rescue.

 

In the end, everyone was discharged without too much trouble and Rossi would bet his house that the nurses were glad to see them go. 

 

All except Derek.

 

With his family grounded in Chicago due to the cold fronts, you’d think his room would be relatively quiet. That was far from the case.

 

Reid was in there for almost two hours everyday, reading to his friend or himself, Rossi wasn’t sure.

 

He’d overheard Emily saying sorry more than once, lately, she just sat, holding his hand and talking about drunken escapades the two had apparently been on together.

 

JJ was there less, she had a son and husband after all. When she could, she’d stop by and tell him about Henry’s day, Rossi made the deduction that she didn’t have very many good things to say about her own.

 

As soon as he was out of bed and in a wheelchair, Rossi didn’t have much else to do but sit with Derek, he told him so, hoping that if positivity didn’t wake him up, maybe a challenge to his ego would.

 

Hotch took the night shift. Every night, without fail. Rossi wasn’t sure what he said to him, if he said anything at all. The nurses all but locked him in his room every night, pushing his wheelchair far enough away he couldn’t reach. He had a suspicion though, because Hotch had told him once that he never told people how much they meant to him until it was too late. 

 

Watching Garcia visit him was the hardest. Rossi had always had a soft spot for the peppy tech analyst and her way of keeping everything good in the world close to her heart despite her job. He wasn’t all that surprised when he’d gone to Derek’s room one day and found figurines and pictures of the team surrounding him in neat rows. He was surprised when Garcia went home on the fifteenth day and didn’t come back.

 

Emily had gone to her apartment and come back with her eyes looking even more empty, if it was possible. When Reid asked what happened, Emily just said that Garcia needed some space, and went to get her sixth cup of coffee for the day.

 

They were on day twenty three now, the cold fronts had gotten worse if anything, Derek’s family had a decision to make. One they might not be able to even be there for.

 

“Dave?”

 

Rossi looked up to see Hotch handing over a hot cup of coffee, a worried look on his face, “Are you alright?”

 

“I thought you didn’t make jokes Aaron,” Rossi muttered, taking the cup. At Hotch’s pursed lips, Rossi sighed, “Sorry. Has Mrs. Morgan called in yet?”

 

Hotch shook his head, “It’s a hard decision to make, choosing whether to pull the plug or not, and they don’t exactly have a deadline.”

 

“How often do comatose patients wake up?” Rossi said, more to himself than Hotch.

 

“ The majority of people -87 percent- who score a three or a four on the Glasgow Coma Scale within the first 24 hours of going into a coma are likely to either die or remain in a vegetative state. On the other end of the scale, about 87 percent of those who score between 11 and 15 are likely to make a good recovery” Reid said, walking up next to them with his own coffee cup, followed by Prentiss.

 

“What was Derek’s score?” Emily asked like she didn’t actually want to know.

 

“Seven.” Hotch answered. No one said anything after that. Not until JJ walked through the doors, the hair pulled into her ponytail frizzed and dark circles under his eyes. 

 

“JJ, hey, I thought you said you wouldn’t be here today?” Emily said softly, holding a hand out but not quite making contact with JJ’s elbow.

 

“Penelope asked me to come, said it was important.” JJ said as she reached up to rub Reid’s back. At least that was the same, Rossi thought, the three of them and their constant need for validation that the others were really there. He didn’t care to go into the psychological reasons for it at the moment, instead he took comfort in the fact that they would always have each other.

 

“We haven’t seen Garcia in almost a week,” Reid said, eyes on the ground and voice somehow still hoarse from the incident.

 

“I know,” A new voice, Garcia. She shuffled into the room, hair frizzed and not curled, a orange dress she seemed to have thrown on for some semblance of her normal self. She smiled at each of them, it didn’t quite reach her eyes, “And I’m sorry. But I wanted to ask you guys if you’d help me with something.”

 

The first to speak after a seemingly eternal silence, Hotch nodded, “Of course, anything you need.”

 

“So, you know that embarrassing blank wall in Derek’s office? Yeah? Okay, I was thinking, he only has three pictures in there, one of the whole team, one of his family and one of me!” Unaware of the blank stares from her teammates, Garcia’s tone didn’t change, “I have like three boxes of pictures in my car of us and people he’s saved and his sisters and mom, I was thinking, what if we went through, choose the best ones, framed them, and hung them in his office as a surprise for when he gets back!”

 

Rossi blinked. Somehow, Garcia’d completely disregarded the fact that the seventh floor of the BAU was totally demolished by the bomb and the construction crew, as well as the cloud hanging in the air that Derek might not ever ‘get back’. 

 

Garcia’s smile slowly faded as she watched her team, “What?”

 

Reid looked at JJ, who looked at Emily, who looked at Hotch who looked at Rossi, who looked right back until Reid sighed, reaching forward to take Garcia’s hand. He licked his lips once, then nodded, “Yeah, I think he’ll like that.”

 

Smile returning twice as fast as it had gone, Garcia gave them a thumbs up, “I’ll bring in the pictures.”

 

As soon as she was gone, JJ turned to Reid, “Do you really think that was a good idea?”

 

“Do I think giving her something to hold onto, giving us something to do other than stand around in a circle like a bunch of tree stumps is a good idea?” Reid retorted, “Yeah, I do.”

 

Emily wrinkled her eyebrows, she brushed past Hotch to follow Garcia out the door, “She’s going to need help with those boxes.”

 

Hotch watched her leave, then tilted his head ever so slightly to look at Reid, “Tree stumps?”

 

Reid made a noise like an excuse had died in his throat and JJ smiled.

 

********

 

Surrounded by stacks of pictures they’d chosen, Hotch shook his head. In the end, they’d only declined three, one because everyone except Reid was in it and according to JJ, ‘that just wasn’t right’. The other two were turned down because Rossi ‘looked like an unsub’. Emily had gotten a good glare from the senior profiler because of that comment, even though he’d agreed.

 

Hotch had to admit, even if Garcia was in denial, the idea had been a good one, every member of his team left with at least the ghost of a smile on their faces. 

 

Hotch picked up the picture closest to him, it was ‘selfie’ he’d been forced into taking with Derek and Garcia, the latter had pointed out that he didn’t look like he minded in the picture, and in truth, he didn’t.

 

He set it down and picked up another, JJ was holding Henry in it, and Emily looked like she was about to cry, he couldn’t say the same for Derek, who was actually crying.

 

Hotch turned his gaze to the actual Derek, lying in the hospital bed and sighed. He moved to put the picture back down when movement caught his eye. His head snapped back to Derek, then down to his hand, which was quivering.

 

Reaching to take it, Hotch’s eyebrows furrowed, “Derek?”

 

A soft almost-groan left the younger mans lips and Hotch’s breath hitched. He squeezed Derek’s hand, needing one more thing to prove it was real, three was a pattern after all.

 

When Derek’s eyelids fluttered, Hotch hit the emergency call button and pulled out his phone to call his team.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapter until the end! Give me a minute, I'm having a panic attack. But seriously guys, I can't believe this, other than one shots, I've never finished a story before (Disgraceful, Louisa) so this is going to uber crazy. Thanks for reading Doves, hope you enjoy!


	19. The End

Derek had been in and out of consciousness for four days, never quite coherent enough to know what was going one, but he wasn’t in a coma anymore. Reid grinned,  _ he wasn’t in a coma anymore _ . 

 

It was his ‘designated shift’ at the moment, something Hotch had helped Garcia set up so that she would go home and sleep every once in a while.

 

The doctors were optimistic about Derek’s condition, they had managed to clear the smoke out of his lungs enough to get him functioning, they’d told them it was only uphill from there.

 

“Spence?” he turned as JJ walked into the room, two cups of coffee in her hands.

 

Reid took one with a grateful look, “My shift is over?”

 

JJ nodded, “But you can stay,” she ran her thumb along her cups rim, “If you want.”

 

So he did. They didn’t talk much, unusual for both of them, especially in the same room together. They were joined by Hotch two hours later, he watched them both for a few seconds before pulling up an extra chair and sitting down, “You should both go get some rest.”

 

There wasn’t any power behind his words, probably because he knew neither of them would agree. 

 

A soft sputtering came from Derek and the three watched him, used to the odd movements by now.

 

Except this time, the sputtering died down and his eyes opened, “Reid?”

 

Reid almost dropped his cold coffee in his hurry to take Derek’s hand, “Yeah, it’s me.”

 

Hotch had already gone for a nurse when Derek pulled Reid’s hand closer to him, forcing Reid to move and sit on the bed next to him. Derek’s eyes widened as best they could,

 

“You’re okay?” he sluggishly turned Reid, patted his side where he’d been hurt. Reid winced when he hit the still fairly fresh stitches but laughed,

 

“I’m okay Derek, really-” he was cut off when Derek hugged him, only pulling back when he saw JJ standing nervously over his shoulder.

 

At Derek’s look, JJ smiled softly and shuffled forward, letting Derek pull her into a much more gentle hug.

 

Squinting like his head was pounding, Derek put a hand on each of his friends shoulders, “Hotch- we fell through the floor- I fell, did you find him?”

 

Coincidently, Hotch was by his side already, setting his crutches gently against the wall and sitting in Reid’s unoccupied chair, “I’m alright,” he said, relieved smile on his face, “Are you?”

 

Derek looked down, “Yeah man I’m fine- what happened?”

 

Laughing and shaking her head because Derek was so obviously  _ not okay _ but still said so because that’s what he’d always done, moved to stand next to Hotch, “We’ll fill you in, but first, eat something? Let the doctors check you out?”

 

“Wait,” Derek pushed out a hand like he was stopping someone, and Reid had to lean back when it nearly hit him in the face, “Penelope, why isn’t she here, she would be here-”

 

“I sent her home,” Hotch stopped him gently, “She hasn’t slept in almost a week.”

 

Derek grunted and slumped back, “Can you call her?” his tone was soft and his eyes closed, “I want to see her.”

 

JJ patted Hotch’s shoulder to keep him from getting up, phone already in hand. She stepped out of the room as she held it to her ear.

 

“Hey kid?”

 

Reid jumped when Derek spoke, having assumed he’d drifted back to sleep, “uh, yeah?”

 

“Can you get me some jello?” when Reid nodded he gave him a thumbs up, “The red kind, green is trash.”

 

Hotch looked down to mask his impromptu smile as Reid left.

 

When he looked up again, Derek was watching him, and he did his best not to jump like Reid.

 

“You think this is your fault, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question. Hotch didn’t answer.

 

Derek sighed and looked up at the ceiling, “Yeah, I figured. But none of us blame you.”

 

“You should.” Hotch said, very much reminded of what Rossi had said to him when he’d woken up. 

 

“C’mon man, none of us would be here without you.” He stopped and made a face, “That didn’t come out right.”

 

Hotch sighed, “You can walk me through all the reasons why this isn’t my fault, it really won’t change anything.”

 

“I never said it  _ wasn’t _ your fault.” Derek said. Hotch felt like the air had been knocked out of him. Derek smiled, apparently having said it to get his attention, “I mean, it’s not like you wanted it to happen, or could’ve prevented it, but in the end Maxwell targeted us for you, so it is your fault. Doesn’t mean you’re the one to blame.”

 

Hotch lowered his eyebrows, in confusion this time.

 

“Look, all I’m saying is we’re a family, and we blame ourselves more than each other, more than the Unsub, but fault and blame are two different things. We’re all at fault for some stupid shit, so how come you don’t blame us?”

 

Eyes trained on Derek’s face, Hotch answered with complete honesty for once, “I did put the blame on one of you, I learned it was a mistake the hard way.”

 

Derek pushed his lips together and let a breath out through his nose, “Elle.”

 

Hotch nodded, and Derek glared, “You learned not to blame us because of Elle, so learn not to blame yourself because of this. None of us died Hotch.”

 

Instead of arguing further, Hotch just nodded. Derek wasn’t sure whether he listened or not, but he’d done his best, and he was very tired.

 

Reid came back in carrying a large tray of jello, his face went red when Derek saw how much there was, “The lady at the counter gave me extra.”

 

“I can see that,” Derek said, counting the cups, “What made her give you  _ eleven  _ extra?”

 

“She said I was too thin,” Reid admitted begrudgingly.

 

Derek laughed, “Nice work Pretty Boy, I hope you brought extra spoons.”

 

In response, Reid held up a handful, “I just grabbed a bunch and left.”

 

This prompted another laugh out of Derek as he took the spoons. A familiar form in the doorway squealed and ran around the wheelchair she’d been pushing to wrap herself around Derek, “You’re alive! I mean, awake, we knew you were alive!”

 

Derek hugged her back, “Hey Baby Girl,” he brushed down her hair and Reid caught his smile drop and his eyes close before Garcia pulled back.

 

Rossi wheeled himself up to him, holding up his hand when Derek opened his mouth, an amused look on his face, “Don’t say a word.”

 

Derek nodded and clasped hands with him for a few seconds, the closest to a hug they could get in their positions.

 

“Okay, I want another hug,” Garcia said, hugging Derek again, “I knitted you a scarf.” she said, voice muffled in his shoulder. JJ snorted.

 

Derek raised an eyebrow, “Emily?”

 

“She’s in an CT scan right now, they wanted to make sure her back is still doing okay,” JJ reassured him, “She’ll be here when she’s done.”

 

Derek watched as Hotch leaned forward and picked up a jello cup and a spoon, he didn’t say anything as he sat back again and pulled the tinfoil off.

 

JJ picked one up next, smacking Derek’s forehead softly with her spoon, Derek picked up the first thing he could get and threw it at her, she caught the jello cup and held up both of hers like she’d won a prize, Derek stuck his tongue out at her as he handed another to Garcia.

 

Reid waited until everyone was situated to take his own, “Rossi?”

 

With a disgusted look, Rossi shook his head, “I lived off that stuff for two weeks, if I ever have to eat it again, I’ll shoot my foot.”

 

“Jello?”

 

Everyone turned to Emily, standing against the door frame, she pushed off it and walked up to Derek, he held out his arms to hug her and she leaned down, quickly standing again with a jello cup in her hand.

 

A chorus of laughs and taunts filled the air and one of the nurses passing by hushed them. Emily smiled and leaned down again, this time actually giving him a hug. They latched onto each other for a while, both of them uneager to be the first to let go. Emily pulled back finally, her chest heaved just a little.

 

JJ was with her the second she stood, a hand on her back to steady her. Emily shook her head, “Sorry, it’s just still weird being out.”

 

“He turned our workplace-safe haven into a prison,” Reid said, for once trailing off without prompt.

 

Garcia made a face, “Do we have to go back there?”

 

“They’re remodeling, it won’t even look like how we remember,” JJ said back, sounding like she wasn’t quite glad of it, but wasn’t complaining either.

 

“That means new desks,” Emily said.

 

“And a coffee pot,” Reid added.

 

Soon, the conversation turned from what had gone wrong to what the new office would look like. They were reprimanded by more than one nurse on their volume, what didn’t help was Hotch’s fatherly slip up of telling them to, ‘use their inside voices’. Rossi had to talk down the nurse so she wouldn’t kick them all out of Derek’s room after that.

 

They spent the next few hours that way, drinking coffee, playing cards with the deck Reid had brought and genuinely enjoying each others company, seeing as it was the first time since the bombing where they hadn’t been worried about one of them not making it.

 

At closing hours, Hotch and Rossi were the only ones left awake. The rest of the team passed out on the foot of Derek’s bed, in a chair or curled up on the cushioned bench across the room.

 

“Visiting hours are over,” An elderly nurse said quietly, leaning into the room.

 

Hotch looked around, “Is there any way we could stay?”

 

The nurse looked like she wanted to argue but her eyes softened as she scanned the room, “Okay. Keep quiet or I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

 

Rossi smiled and nodded gratefully. He turned to Hotch after she’d left, “How many?”

 

Hotch sighed, looking down at the message from Strauss, “Thirty agents.”

 

“When’s the memorial?”

 

“Three days.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack okay, I'm freaking out, only one more chapter, that's scary. 
> 
> As always, thank you all for reading and leaving kudos and especially commenting, you are beautiful humans.


	20. The Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god it's the last chapter.
> 
> This came to a beautiful 100 pages in Google Docs and twenty chapters on here, that's pretty cool.

“Almost a month ago, the BAU was targeted by a man seeking to destroy what countless agents have built over the years.” Strauss’ voice was clear as she spoke through the microphone, “Though we will rebuild our building and hire new agents, some things cannot simply be replaced.”

 

Candles lit around the makeshift podium, illuminating a marble wall, names carved into it glinting in the light.

 

“The agents lost that day were not just agents, they were mothers and father, daughters and sons, sisters and brothers, they were -and are- loved.” Strauss smiled as a single tear drifted it’s way down her cheek, “Everyone here lost someone dear to them, and for that I am sorry. But take solace in the fact that the one responsible will never hurt another, and that those lost will always be remembered.”

 

Reid looked at the floor as she began to read off names, he didn’t flinch when a drop of hot candle wax fell on his hand. He looked at JJ when she linked arms with him and she looked back. The tears in her eyes threatened to fall and she didn’t seem to mind.

 

Reid tapped his foot into JJ’s and she looked to wear his head gestured at Emily who stood with her own candle, staring into the flame. 

 

JJ reached out and took her elbow, pulling her up to her hip. Emily looked at them in surprise that soon faded into a soft smile, she reached behind JJ to squeeze Reid’s shoulder.

 

When an arm wrapped itself around his shoulders from the opposite side, Reid looked to see Morgan, still a little pale, planting a kiss on Garcia’s forehead as she leaned into his chest.

 

He watched as Garcia reached out linked arms with Hotch, who moved to take her hand with a sad look. Hotch had a hand on Rossi’s shoulder as the man sat in a wheelchair and didn’t saying anything when his friend patted it softly.

 

The seven of them stood there, a force of wills, however broken, standing together.

 

Reid had read many definitions of a team before, from the dictionary, quotes, the internet, and he remembered every one. But even with an eidetic memory and the knowledge of every book he’d ever read he couldn’t describe the definition of the team he’d found himself in.

 

They’d been through hell, more than once, and not one of them had backed down.

 

Strauss finished reading off names and the crowd stepped forward, placing their candles as well as pictures, flowers and other small tokens down around the monument.

 

The team moved up as a unit, however hard that may have been because of the turnout of mourners, and they stepped back as a unit after setting down their own candles.

 

It wasn’t until the crowd dispersed slightly that they split off, JJ went to find Will at the back of the crowd, when she found him he wrapped her into a hug, “Hey love.”

 

JJ laughed, “I missed you.”

 

“You were only gone for fifteen minutes,” Will said, pulling back and brushing her hair out of her face.

 

JJ shook her head, “No, in there,” she looked back at the half torn down BAU, “I couldn’t think clearly most of the time but I missed you through all of it.”

 

Will contemplated her for a few seconds, then pulled her in to kiss her forehead, “I missed you too.”

 

At the front of the crowd, Emily sat with Rossi, watching the families of the agents who’d shot themselves in front of them set down their own pictures at the monument. 

 

“Should we say something?” Emily said quietly. 

 

Rossi shook his head, “I’m afraid there isn’t anything to say.”

 

“How about telling them we’re sorry?”

 

“They know,” Rossi watched as the three families turned to each other, “Trust me, they know.”

 

Next to Reid, Morgan squeezed his shoulders in a half hug, before moving away, Garcia trailing after him. He watched her face as she wiped tears away, “Is it bad that part of me is glad he’s dead?”

 

Morgan let a breath out through his nose and took her hand, “No.”

 

“Then, is it bad that part of me wishes he was alive, so he could pay for what he did?”

 

A little boy, no older than ten, walked to the memorial and set down a picture of a man in a security uniform. He saluted the picture before turning and hugging his mom. Morgan looked at the ground, “No.”

 

Reid stayed glued to his spot, staring at a particular photo of a woman with her young son. He barely noticed when Hotch moved up beside him, “Are you alright?”

 

Reid shrugged, “Are you?”

 

“Good point.” Hotch sighed, “It’s going to take some time.”

 

“I know,” Reid opened his messenger bag and pulled out a battered FBI mug.

 

Hotch furrowed his eyebrows, “Where did you get that?”

 

“Uh,” Reid let out a breathy laugh, “Apparently when I’m bleeding out and delirious I steal coffee mugs from the conference room.”

 

Taking the mug from him, Hotch smiled one of his rare smiles, “Do you know why?”

 

“At first I was thinking it connected to my inherit need for caffeine but I think part of me knew we wouldn’t have much left after all of this,” he pointed at the mug, “I wanted something to remind us.”

 

“That we almost died?”

 

“That we didn’t.” 

 

Rossi was the first to join them, pushed by Emily. Soon enough the whole team had gathered in a haphazard circle.

 

“How do drinks sound?” Rossi finally asked.

 

To her credit, Emily groaned in agreement, “I would love a drink.”

 

Everyone else voiced their individual agreement, JJ wrapped her arms around her husband and looked up at him, “Do you think mom would watch the kids for a little longer?”

 

Will ran his thumb over her cheek, “I think she’d be alright with that.”

 

Hotch smiled and took over pushing Rossi’s wheelchair, “You’re buying, right?”

 

Rossi reached up and patted his friend’s cheek good naturally, “Oh yes.”

 

As the team filed out and moved up to the black SUV’s, they stopped once to look back at the monument.

 

The setting sun hit it at the top, casting glittering ray over the names, the candles cast contrasting shadows. 

 

Anyone there that day at that perfect spot, would tell you it was the most beautiful thing they’d ever seen.

 

_ “Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim--letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.” - C.R. Strahan _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... the end you guys. That's so crazy! I started this with low expectations, I was expecting to abandon it halfway because that's what always happens to me, but here we are, at the actual end?
> 
> As a writer, my writing is as good as you guys make it with your support and love, you guys spent the time reading, leaving kudos and commenting and in return I poured my heart and soul into this story.
> 
> I hope the end gave the story, the characters and above all, you guys, justice. 
> 
> With love and admiration for all of you, I'll catch you next time,
> 
> Louisa.


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